jeykool

So this journal entry is all about my pathetic love life.
Now that my ex has dumped me why do I like her even more? We went out to get udon noodles as just friends and I called her up afterwards like three times. That was the most pathetic moment of my recent life.

It's not pathetic because I wanted to talk to her. It was pathetic because I was being the looser exboyfriend. It feels like there should be a hyphen somewhere in exboyfriend but oh-well. wait...

anyway, neway, NeWaY...

there i go, perfect internet speak grammer. Why is it called internet speak? It's typing. Just like why do I write the person's name on the front of their bday card envelope. To whom else might I give a card on person x's birthday??

So back to the ex...
I resolve not to call her so much. That has to make her feel wierd. But I want to talk to her sooo much. This reflection lust is stupid... See, there I go. Just because I can't be with her doesn't make her a non real reflection. She's still her so why do I define her in such terms. I'm frustrated.

Ah well...
Sometimes it feels like the same sorts of expectations are placed on men's egos as womens bodies. If you're not this towering symbol of self esteem then you are nothing other than worse than nothing.