Seems like it's been forever since I posted... damn, long week this week!! How's everybody been? Just wondering, is everyone else procrastinating on this Christmas thing, too? 
I've missed seeing everyone around the boards this last week, and I just haven't had the time to catch up you all like I'd hoped to. Things have been Uber busy around my house....and I'm getting excited about my daughter coming home this week from college for Christmas!! I haven't seen her since I put her on the plane in August to go to school, and I'm so thrilled she will be home for the next three weeks for Christmas and my birthday in January!! Also, I just really wanted to say thanks to everyone who's sent me supportive messages and concerned comments on my last blog regarding "creepy PM messages" that I'd received that crossed my married lady boundaries, it meant alot to me to hear from you all
Your kindness, and the kindred spirit thing that has developed here with you all kind of brings me to the topic of my blog tonight.
This past week, I've been unable to quit thinking about the following post from my good friend Lilli in the Geezers group:
"I just want to say that you all really are the best! I don't have any major issues going on in my life right now (knock wood), but sometimes life can just be overwhelming. We (I) don't always feel so good about ourselves. And even when we are blessed, as I am, with a lovely support network of friends and family, sometimes it is just hard to reach out when we feel low. Having an online group of friends makes it so wonderfully easy to be honest. None of you think I expect anything from you, except maybe kind or funny words once in a while. I love that. I love that you are always there to make me laugh. And I lurvs you guys! "
My short answer to Lilli's post was something like this:
"I know what you mean... It's not always the big stuff that you need help with, and sometimes just knowing that there are others who have been through the same thing as you, or who are willing to listen to you while you blather on about what's bothering you can really help you make it through a hard time.
I agree with you on it being wonderfully easy to be honest, too. Much less vulnerability involved I think, it's easier to share your deep, dark secrets when it doesn't really matter if you are rejected for it or not."
And her post made me think for quite sometime about why it is that I enjoy the SG community so much, and especially why it is that I love to blog here as well.... The thing that has really struck me is that I
being able to share myself and my thoughts here, without any editing. What I say, is what I think or feel, without any filters that one might normally use in the "real world". It's been really wonderful having the opportunity to allow others a mirror to the inner me, and it's really been wonderful knowing that there are others who my words have touched in someway or another! It's funny, my honey Flashmo loves to tease me about being on SG as he walks by the door to our office, often stopping long enough to tell me " YOUR AN ADDICT!" Perhaps he is right... I dunno! All I know is that in this world that we live in these days... I find myself craving a place where I am able to just be me, without having to edit myself, or filter my thoughts in the way that we tend to do in our world today. Being able to share myself freely here, without the fear of judgement or rejection is an incredible gift to me, a haven of sorts and I it very much!
If you have read some of my prior blogs, you probably have heard me say in the past that I found my "inner SG" about the time that I turned 37... and in the six years since then I've been trying hard to recuperate from the childhood feeling that my opinion just doesn't count, and that feelings are meant to be kept to yourself. As the youngest child in a group of four girls, I was most shaped as a child by my father.... he was a career military man who believed in discipline, order and in using your head instead of your heart, and he knew very little about raising little girls! Please don't get me wrong, I loved my father very much....and as an adult I've pretty much come to peace with all of the things that often haunted me as a child. I know now that my father did the very best he could in a bad situation, as my mother was emotionally absent from us all growing up due to her lifelong battle with mental illness, and it took all of my fathers will to keep us all together by focusing on what he did know about... that being the discipline instilled in him by his career with the military. I guess the reason that I'm saying all of this is because as little girls we were taught that feelings, dreams and hopes were all things that had little value, and they were certainly meant to be kept to yourself! In our home, we learned quickly that the expression of any dissent from the "party line" would be met with swift and severe punishment, and as a result as an adult I still find myself unable to cope well with confrontation of any kind... it was just something we didn't do in my home as a child, and to this day I don't do it very well. I'm working on it though! These last few years I've it's been my mission to free myself from the underlying feeling that what I think and feel is of little importance, and also to overcome my tendency to keep everything inside of me until I reach the point where I just explode from it all and
my feelings out all over!! It's been a little bit of a struggle, but the older I get the better I am becoming at sharing how I feel before it gets too late, and allowing myself to be vulnerable to the people that I care about....which brings me back to you all, and with why it is that I am so happy being here 
What a wonderful gift to me that it's been to have a place where it's safe to say whatever it is that's on my mind, or in my heart. For those that like to stop here from time to time to read what I have to say.... I guess I just wanted to say thanks, and that it really means alot to me to have you all stopping by here!! Especially all my Geezer and Hopefuls friends
OK, well I guess that's all I got for today! Hope you will stop by here to see some more pics like this:
And make sure to say hello when you do, K?? No lurking!!
Hearts, Jewelz
I've missed seeing everyone around the boards this last week, and I just haven't had the time to catch up you all like I'd hoped to. Things have been Uber busy around my house....and I'm getting excited about my daughter coming home this week from college for Christmas!! I haven't seen her since I put her on the plane in August to go to school, and I'm so thrilled she will be home for the next three weeks for Christmas and my birthday in January!! Also, I just really wanted to say thanks to everyone who's sent me supportive messages and concerned comments on my last blog regarding "creepy PM messages" that I'd received that crossed my married lady boundaries, it meant alot to me to hear from you all
Your kindness, and the kindred spirit thing that has developed here with you all kind of brings me to the topic of my blog tonight.This past week, I've been unable to quit thinking about the following post from my good friend Lilli in the Geezers group:
"I just want to say that you all really are the best! I don't have any major issues going on in my life right now (knock wood), but sometimes life can just be overwhelming. We (I) don't always feel so good about ourselves. And even when we are blessed, as I am, with a lovely support network of friends and family, sometimes it is just hard to reach out when we feel low. Having an online group of friends makes it so wonderfully easy to be honest. None of you think I expect anything from you, except maybe kind or funny words once in a while. I love that. I love that you are always there to make me laugh. And I lurvs you guys! "
My short answer to Lilli's post was something like this:
"I know what you mean... It's not always the big stuff that you need help with, and sometimes just knowing that there are others who have been through the same thing as you, or who are willing to listen to you while you blather on about what's bothering you can really help you make it through a hard time.
I agree with you on it being wonderfully easy to be honest, too. Much less vulnerability involved I think, it's easier to share your deep, dark secrets when it doesn't really matter if you are rejected for it or not."
And her post made me think for quite sometime about why it is that I enjoy the SG community so much, and especially why it is that I love to blog here as well.... The thing that has really struck me is that I
being able to share myself and my thoughts here, without any editing. What I say, is what I think or feel, without any filters that one might normally use in the "real world". It's been really wonderful having the opportunity to allow others a mirror to the inner me, and it's really been wonderful knowing that there are others who my words have touched in someway or another! It's funny, my honey Flashmo loves to tease me about being on SG as he walks by the door to our office, often stopping long enough to tell me " YOUR AN ADDICT!" Perhaps he is right... I dunno! All I know is that in this world that we live in these days... I find myself craving a place where I am able to just be me, without having to edit myself, or filter my thoughts in the way that we tend to do in our world today. Being able to share myself freely here, without the fear of judgement or rejection is an incredible gift to me, a haven of sorts and I it very much!If you have read some of my prior blogs, you probably have heard me say in the past that I found my "inner SG" about the time that I turned 37... and in the six years since then I've been trying hard to recuperate from the childhood feeling that my opinion just doesn't count, and that feelings are meant to be kept to yourself. As the youngest child in a group of four girls, I was most shaped as a child by my father.... he was a career military man who believed in discipline, order and in using your head instead of your heart, and he knew very little about raising little girls! Please don't get me wrong, I loved my father very much....and as an adult I've pretty much come to peace with all of the things that often haunted me as a child. I know now that my father did the very best he could in a bad situation, as my mother was emotionally absent from us all growing up due to her lifelong battle with mental illness, and it took all of my fathers will to keep us all together by focusing on what he did know about... that being the discipline instilled in him by his career with the military. I guess the reason that I'm saying all of this is because as little girls we were taught that feelings, dreams and hopes were all things that had little value, and they were certainly meant to be kept to yourself! In our home, we learned quickly that the expression of any dissent from the "party line" would be met with swift and severe punishment, and as a result as an adult I still find myself unable to cope well with confrontation of any kind... it was just something we didn't do in my home as a child, and to this day I don't do it very well. I'm working on it though! These last few years I've it's been my mission to free myself from the underlying feeling that what I think and feel is of little importance, and also to overcome my tendency to keep everything inside of me until I reach the point where I just explode from it all and
my feelings out all over!! It's been a little bit of a struggle, but the older I get the better I am becoming at sharing how I feel before it gets too late, and allowing myself to be vulnerable to the people that I care about....which brings me back to you all, and with why it is that I am so happy being here What a wonderful gift to me that it's been to have a place where it's safe to say whatever it is that's on my mind, or in my heart. For those that like to stop here from time to time to read what I have to say.... I guess I just wanted to say thanks, and that it really means alot to me to have you all stopping by here!! Especially all my Geezer and Hopefuls friends
OK, well I guess that's all I got for today! Hope you will stop by here to see some more pics like this:
And make sure to say hello when you do, K?? No lurking!!
Hearts, Jewelz
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You can't have a Real Life! You must come play!
Umm... really I meant to say, I miss you!