Because when a world around you sucks big time, build your own and be happy in it! Brick by brick and it's actually possible, you just have to be careful not to rely heavily on fantasies or it will collapse quickly. Sure you can spice it up a little just be sure that what's to come won't wash everything away, leaving you trapped within your own creation with no way out.
It's been almost a year now since i got here and i have to say i do not regret one bit, yes it was unusual experience at first and then i realized who I really am and what really matters. It became clear to me I did not make fatal mistake by turning down certain offers i got in the past, offers that would probably make my life thousand, screw it, ten thousand times easier, but now i see i would never be genuinely happy if i agreed to on what others had planned for me. I was not born to be someone's mindless drone.
Like i said, one year of being here is behind me, and i decided to stay, why? Because i've met some really cool people (Well actually few really cool SG, duh lol) here that barely know me and vice versa, yet somehow they were willing to listen and talk about some things i could never share even with someone who i know my entire life. This all may seem normal to others, but i highly doubt they grew up in such highly toxic and dysfunctional environmentwhere lack of communication was main feature and violence and anger were the best things you could hope for.
But you see, there is actually one good thing about all that, no one can play with your emotions anymore. Unless you know that someone honestly loves you and cares about you, you just don't pay attention to them, regardless of what they say or do. Not so long ago i encountered my ex girlfriend and not much about her has changed, except the fact that she is a mother of four now.When we broke up it was typical BS; "It's not about me, it's about her, and how she realized how she is a type of person that prefers to go through life alone" and i knew she was lying, she had someone else, after all, she is my friend's sister... How funny, isn't it?How i felt when i saw her in person, years after we broke up? Good, like nothing ever happened, she said hi, i said hi back and that was it, i never really wanted and won't get in touch with her again. I don't see the point, at least for me situation if pretty clear.Well, her brother informed me when she got married and got kids, other than that, we never talked about what was between us.
Alright, i promise, next time i will pick some happier topic but first i had to vent all this that i've been holding inside me for a long time.
Please don't mind if i made some dumb mistakes, 3 in the morning isn't the best time to write a blog.
Have a nice weekend! ;)