jessicunt

I frequently find myself in a good mood.
But is that something to complain about really?

So, I told Will the other night that I had sex with Korry. And, to my suprise, he didn't mind. He was happy for me. He asked if I enjoyed myself. He asked if I was happy.
And of course, I don't know why though, but I do find myself in a good mood.
Well, that's good. I ended up talking to him for quite some time on the phone. I felt like I had my friend back. He's been pretty much absent this whole week because of everything that's been happening with his dog. With his mom. With his job.
I am very glad he does have a job now. Maybe well go eat at Thai Country sometime.
He wanted me to come over last night. I would have liked to go see him and check up on him and make sure his life is going well. But it was far too late. It was around 2. It was after 2. It was too late. But I would like to go visit him sometime.
Hopefully he's not keeping secrets from me. Telling me things that just aren't quite true, because he knows how much I hate his effin' girlfriend. And I do hate her. And if I see her, I'll want to punch her. But also if I see her, I'll start to chuckle. Even the last time I saw them walking down the street. I laughed, because they weren't next to each other. They weren't holding hands like we used to. And she's gotten fatter.
I can't find anything attractive about her, and I have no idea why he would tell me we're both beautiful in our own ways. That's a crock of shit. I know he thinks one of us is more attractive and if I never find out who, I know my life will seem incomplete to me.
I just want to know the truth. Right now, I could handle hearing anything. And that's just the way I want it to be. I want my life to be blunt. I want people to know what I say and know my meaning. Because I've got a lot to get out, I think. I try to connect with people, but they don't connect back for some reason.
I was talking about that to Korry earlier. And he was talking back to me. More than usual. And he is interested in what I have to say. I wish he was more talkative sometimes, because when he's not, I get a little fear inside me that says I'm not very interesting. But I think I am. I wish other people would see myself the way I see myself. But apparently it's pretty fuckin' hard to see.
But I'm a shapeshifter. I guess nobody really knows me. Knows who I am. But, do I let them? I guess not. Maybe that's the way I want it to be.
I wish my plans with Korry didn't get screwed up. Oh well. It's not like we're going to die tonight. Or at least, I don't feel like we're going to.
I'm pretty good at knowing things will turn out eventually.