jessicunt

All my entries are growing. Growing like a little tail... Like a little Tale. Of my life. But it probably seems like so many people have the same life as me. I complain about the same things. The same things bother me. And... I wonder where I learned to fear and regret and hide myself from the same things that everybody else fears and regrets and hides from. Because, I know there's something different about me. I just, do something a little bit different, or my motives are a little bit skewed, or I question it. I question something.

I'm catching a cold. Josiah gave it to me. I never learn. I'll make out with anybody just to catch their cold. I actually almost felt like I was about to puke at work a few times. But I think I held it at bay. I'm trying my best to fight this bastard off. I guess I hate being sick. But I kind of like it. I like it, because I used to be taken care of. I don't like it, because I'm not taken care of anymore. I just want someone dear to my heart to take care of me while I'm ill. Not just with a cold, because I feel ill frequently for many numerous reasons.

I feel like I should be more different than I am. But I guess I kind of know how I want to be different, and these thoughts are strange to me. Strange because, who would want the things I want? I'm not motivated to change, though, but I guess that's for the best.

I feel I ought to go work on my resume. I wish Will would get on, or at least talk to me so I could get him to send me his resume like he said he would weeks ago. It's hard to just do this from scratch. I don't brag about myself seriously.