jessickah

Wow, I was real angry, huh? I guess there's another reason to reconsider after all. Besides, the alien really does sleep inside of you...

As for how explanations go, I figured I really don't owe anyone that. In fact I'm quite proud of not owing anything much right now, what a relief! Really though, I got ditched for two shows and a recording session the day before the first show... completely left-field, and last-minute. well, along with getting dumped...

In a nutshell, none of it really matters any longer. I am strong enough to be over it, and I surely won't slow down because of it. But retrospection has been my best friend lately, and with calming results to boot. There is good reason, I suppose, that I haven't been writing lately. And I'm ok with that. So many changes in so little time. Now it is release time. I have considered and reconsidered, I have chewed on every pen or pencil in this little old apartment, I have played with my cat (Admiral), I got a vacuum, got my deer-slain car finally fixed (yay! I can drive my own car!), and I have spent a lot of time in-between practically gritting my teeth and telling myself, "It will come when it is supposed to." And I finally feel it in my bones...


Plaster-sized
un-revised nowheres
where you lead
I swallow
bits of tomorrow
with my fingertips,
they drain
relentless into
ripened vines
circumsized so my
fruit won't taste you.

Breathe-
the life,
it is full of night;
watch
as the wisps
of our religion
fall like palms from
stoned hands
in self-martyrdom-
We are free!

And dead
as sacrifice
to the holy plan.

Where are you now,
wings?
Am I no longer
a sparrow
fleeing endless
into the further winds?

Is this
how I have
been freed?



Ahh... What better to call this one than "Birds." This was a straight improv. that you and I have just experienced. It felt good to let it fly. No pun intended, of course.

Thanks guys, for checking in on me. You have inspired me, to say the least. I'll be doing my rounds after work tomorrow (ok, today)... So I will talk to you all soon, 2:30-ish or so...

~Jessickah