jessicadiana

Happy Halloween everyone!

Ok, so if you read my blog last night, you would know that I decided it'd be a good idea to venture out of the house as a skanky vampire. To my sheer luck, the damn teeth wouldn't stay in... which was the one thing that clearly states that I was supposed to be a vampire. So I was a vampire hooker minus the vampire part.



BUT! The good thing is that Guavaween holds more than 50,000 people in attendance. More than half of which were females. There were quite a few outfits that I wouldn't have considered outfits and more along the lines of something you were ONLY in the bedroom, which was good for ME because my outfit didn't look so bad. Now that I'm looking at the pictures... I didn't even look like a hooker. I looked like some broad who was just trying to get action that night and makeout with whoever I could. (Which turned out to be 6 people, by the way.)

So as I'm typing this, I'm looking down and realizing my left pinky is swollen and throbbing. I thought somebody stuck me with a needle and gave me AIDS. (I heard that from 3 people that this is actually something they do at this event) Then I realized that when I was to a selected stall, some bitch SLAMMED it on my fucking finger. I remember hunching over like, "WHAT THE SQUIRREL FUCK?" My friends came over to my aide and asked me what happened. It would've been a complete shit storm if I had stayed there to beat a bitch in the face for such hostile actions, but was overwhelmbed by a certain 32oz tallboy and slice of pepperoni pizza that was feuding in my gut...so I made the better choice of vomiting in a different stall instead. Good call, might I add.

Pros of last night:
-I made out with 6 people.
-I ended up drunk without spending ALL of my money.
-Nobody got in a fight. -We didn't have to stay in a hotel!
-My boobs/vagina/soul didn't pour out of my dress.
-I didn't lose my camera/phone! Everyone can cheer for that.

Cons of last night:
-I made out with 6 people.
-I only have $20 in my wallet.
-Not nailing that bathroom bitch in the fucking throat with my heel.
-Not seeing boobies/vagina/souls pour out of other dresses.
-Not taking more photos than I did! I'm pissed.

So that's all I have to say. I'm hungover and will set my big white monster of a dog out in the front so all the trick-or-treater's will take the hint that this bitch has no candy... and today... ain't their day.



Scary isn't he?