jessewestend

i'm sitting at the library, with no desire to move or do anything but sit here and be useless. it appears we are in deeper than we had realized. i wasn't ready for this, i don't know if i can handle this. i don't know if it matters I just want to curl up with her and sleep.

it seems to be getting harder to care about alot of things lately. I feel nicer and kinder than I have been in a long time to the people who treat me right but... my patience appears to be gone. I'm getting mean again and I'm almost glad, I feel so much safer. I had alot of baggage that I refused to drop alot of hangers ons who just wanted to make sure they had a back up plan. And honestly I don't know how much longer I can work third shift. I'm starting to fantasize about sleeping at night.

It will only be a few weeks now and I will be free from this town, god damnit I am going to miss it but its not like I'm moving from one city to another. I'm moving to the city with my waffle house, the one place I can retreat into my head and just create for six seven hours a day 4 or 5 days a week. sometimes 7 days a week depending on my work schedule. I'm not moving to a new set of circumstances I'm moving to my favorite set of circumstances where all I need is myself, a back pack, and some pens.

I want to be more active on SG, I want it to be more active. More comments, more friends, more buzz... sometimes this site feels dead to me.