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jessewestend

Nashville

Member Since 2002

Followers 93 Following 66

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Friday May 20, 2005

May 19, 2005
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Its 3 am in the Tennessee wilderness. I'm sitting in the suburban street light thinking about how these neighborhoods grow like weeds, killing and covering the uniqueness of the country side. You can pave the jungle, but you can't take away the struggle. You can't remove life's desperate desire to be heard.
The cool air on my neck feels like a lover's kiss as I think back to all their names. All the desperation of my past that I tried to pave over with new loves and new addictions. There was a Jungle named Jill and everything after has been a suburb. Love isn't dead. It won't die. Its a cancer that no amount of poison can kill. With drag after drag I calmly administer the cool chemo of Camel tobacco, but to no avail.
Someday maybe I will drive back up there. And show up, fully grown in a 3 piece suit and black shined shoes. Someday maybe I will tell her that no matter how much cement and temporary housing we pour on our hearts we can never remove the jungle our love was.
We thrived once. We teemed. We were beautiful. We had dreams. I am starting to think that love isn't dead, its just poorly defined. A once in a lifetime chance. And when we waste it, like we are bound to do, its about as easy to wash off as a fresh tattoo.
Strangely I'm smiling. Maybe I'm smiling strangely. It doesn't matter. There is a shadow in the bushes, it could be anything. I want to hide there. With you. The way I see it, Love shouldn't die. It should grow inside of me, until the day I return to you ready to be who I was too 19 to be all those years ago.
I am lucky. I am proud. And its only a matter of time, before I'm Chicago bound. Its easy to be a dreamer at night in Tennessee, with the cool air kissing you to sleep.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
redwinterroses:
How can we be sure of anything
the tide changes.
The wind that made the grain wave gently yesterday
blows down the trees tomorrow.
And the sea sends sailors crashing on the rocks,
as easily as it guides them safely home.
I love the sea
but it doesn't make me less afraid of it
I love you
but I'm not always sure of what you are
and how you feel.
I'd like to crawl behind your eyes
and see me the way you do
or climb through your mouth
and sit on every word that comes up through your throat.
Maybe I could be sure then
maybe I could know
as it is - I hide beneath your frowns
or worry when you laugh too loud.
Always sure a storm is coming.

Smile for me, dear!
May 20, 2005
missmarina:
Beautiful. Chicago bound, eh?
May 21, 2005

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