What do you do when the sky falls down?
Here's how a life goes wrong in 2 days:
1. Sunday got my cadillac taken away (I got it back)
2. over a discrepency about the payments, (which I was paying)
3. during the argument my mom ( who is getting really sick from MS and is losing it) started screaming at me hysterically about having cussed outloud in her neighborhood and about being ashamed of me. she kept getting in my face and was trying to choke me, I held her by the wrists intending to calm her down but only made things worse. Now she has bruises and I apparently won't have a place to live or a job soon as a result. And no one seems to care how terrible I feel that I hurt her since it was a total accident and happened on mother's day and I was only there to be with her.
4. Then I got home, and some how managed to have sex with my ex. (Who has a gf) During that time I told her I haven't met anyone in a long time and that I'm not looking and that I know we can't be together but I wanted her to know how much she meant to me.
5. later that night at a party, I met a girl.
6. Who was friends with my other exgirlfriend, who now hates me and apparently thinks I was going to use her (didn't have sex, didn't want to) and who totally sold out what I thought was a great friendship at the drop of a hat.
7. She was the same exgf that was supposed to photograph my Snow SB set. So I don't know if that will get done know and I started the gd contest.
So pretty much my whole life just came falling down and I'm not sure what I have done to deserve it. It seems that the weight of the appearance of my actions is more important than the my actual actions or their motivatoins.
for example. I was drunk when I mentioned to exgf2 that her friend was cute. She said "don't fuck her over," and I said "wouldn't dream of it. I'm just saying she's cute" Then I sobered up after a while and asked new girl to have a cigarette with me. I thought she was cute and wanted 3 minutes with her, you know? But she turned out to be great. We walked down the street to where the water tower is and sat on a coach on the roadside an dtalked for atleast an hour. Then we left. So the last xg2 knows is that I was drunk, found her cute, and went home with her. Which isn't a crime, but is pretty gross and fratboyish. And very not me. Cute is not enough. So in her world, without stoppingto ask, I used her friend in a drunken haze. (we were both sober and I only left bc she was someone's ride that had to leave and we weren't done talking).
I just want to get away from every person thats ever known me and just start over. On the brightside, this will make leaving my family behind easier. They know my past but they don't know me. It hurts me. I am so different from what anyone sees. Why mus perceptions be so negative?
Luckily I have my cadillac. After I left new girl (her name is jesse too isn't that cuuuute) I just took off down the interstate and the cool wind and smooth ride, the roar of the engine and the comfort of the seats made me feel so relaxed.
Here's how a life goes wrong in 2 days:
1. Sunday got my cadillac taken away (I got it back)
2. over a discrepency about the payments, (which I was paying)
3. during the argument my mom ( who is getting really sick from MS and is losing it) started screaming at me hysterically about having cussed outloud in her neighborhood and about being ashamed of me. she kept getting in my face and was trying to choke me, I held her by the wrists intending to calm her down but only made things worse. Now she has bruises and I apparently won't have a place to live or a job soon as a result. And no one seems to care how terrible I feel that I hurt her since it was a total accident and happened on mother's day and I was only there to be with her.
4. Then I got home, and some how managed to have sex with my ex. (Who has a gf) During that time I told her I haven't met anyone in a long time and that I'm not looking and that I know we can't be together but I wanted her to know how much she meant to me.
5. later that night at a party, I met a girl.
6. Who was friends with my other exgirlfriend, who now hates me and apparently thinks I was going to use her (didn't have sex, didn't want to) and who totally sold out what I thought was a great friendship at the drop of a hat.
7. She was the same exgf that was supposed to photograph my Snow SB set. So I don't know if that will get done know and I started the gd contest.
So pretty much my whole life just came falling down and I'm not sure what I have done to deserve it. It seems that the weight of the appearance of my actions is more important than the my actual actions or their motivatoins.
for example. I was drunk when I mentioned to exgf2 that her friend was cute. She said "don't fuck her over," and I said "wouldn't dream of it. I'm just saying she's cute" Then I sobered up after a while and asked new girl to have a cigarette with me. I thought she was cute and wanted 3 minutes with her, you know? But she turned out to be great. We walked down the street to where the water tower is and sat on a coach on the roadside an dtalked for atleast an hour. Then we left. So the last xg2 knows is that I was drunk, found her cute, and went home with her. Which isn't a crime, but is pretty gross and fratboyish. And very not me. Cute is not enough. So in her world, without stoppingto ask, I used her friend in a drunken haze. (we were both sober and I only left bc she was someone's ride that had to leave and we weren't done talking).
I just want to get away from every person thats ever known me and just start over. On the brightside, this will make leaving my family behind easier. They know my past but they don't know me. It hurts me. I am so different from what anyone sees. Why mus perceptions be so negative?
Luckily I have my cadillac. After I left new girl (her name is jesse too isn't that cuuuute) I just took off down the interstate and the cool wind and smooth ride, the roar of the engine and the comfort of the seats made me feel so relaxed.
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oh wait, I wouldn't.