jericho

See, I told you I would do an update...but ooohhh no, some of you didn't believe me, naming no names of course *cough*Araid Kittencore*cough*

So how are you all?

This week has been a fucking weird one for me. It started out as normal on Monday, facing another week of unemployment. I'm not sure if I mentioned but the Canadian Government (in their infinite wisdom) refused my request for employment insurance just before Xmas so I am broke and I have to move out of my apartment at the end of the month. I have been in this apartment for 2 and a half years now and, although it is a very small and shitty apartment, it was my own place. I'm kinda sad about that.

I have had a problem with being motivated recently. I can't seem to get my arse into gear and apply for jobs, despite the fact that I desperately need the money. I have the added problem of my visa status for Canada where, if I were to find another job, I would have to apply for a new visa. What this basically means is that I can't just go and get a job in a coffee shop to just pay the bills, I have to find something in the same industry, and that company would have to be cool going through the visa process with me. These are hurdles that, at times, seem too large. If I were not to get a job by October 2009 (not that I could afford to stay here that long), I would have to leave the country. Which in turn would jeopardize my permanent residency application as that was still going to take another year and a half...or so I thought...

On Tuesday I received an email from my lawyer saying that my Permanent Residency had been approved in principle and that they were waiving my need to have an interview for the residency! This was great news and certainly lifted me. I felt it was the break I needed. Apparently my application was fast tracked because there was a big backlog. I went to have a medical and an X-Ray on Tuesday afternoon (as that is something you have to do to make sure you are not a burden on the health system) and the preliminary results from that show up good apparently, although they still have blood test results to come back. I have a funny story about the medical, but I'll save that for another time (as this is getting kinda long - thats what you get for not believing I'd post muahahaha).

To break up the monotony of a semi serious post, I will now post a random picture of a Sausage Car:




Here concludes this interlude, now on with the story...

So, apparently now, unless there are any hold-ups, I should be a permanent resident in 90 days time! This allows me to work anywhere I want and gives me all the same rights as Canadians. Obviously the Canadian governement could turn around and veto it at any point for any reason, but it is unlikely at this point. Still, until I have the permanent residency card in my hands, I don't want to get too excited and jinx it.

So, up until this point, I was having a good week, feeling relief and whatnot. So why, when I woke up this morning, did I feel a great sense of horror and dread and fear of all the unknowns in my life (no job, no place to live etc)? I should be super happy right? Why can't I be happy? I guess part of it is because I am 29 tomorrow and I just feel I should have achieved so much more than this. I feel I have nothing at this age and that is kinda fucking scary. I know I should be seeing this whole situation as a 'new beginning' and go from there but I just see all the problems. I find this jolly fucking frustrating!

Poop

OK, I am done with the 'Tickle me Emo' part now. To balance the sadness, I will insert a random picture of some kittens. Note: They are not my kittens:



OK, so thats my life in a nutshell. Pretty busy, lots going on. I am hanging out with some friends tonight to 'celebrate' tomorrows birthday, so hopefully I can get out of this funk. Thanks to everyone for their support over the past few months. I really do appreciate it and I love having this place as my 'no holds barred' outlet. Thanks also for stimulating me both mentally and sexually

I owe you all a lot - merci beaucoup!