Why I Only Lasted a Year As the Assistant English Professor at DePauw University
J: I've decided to pronounce my last name as "Hhhhhhhhhyo-nez" from now on, starting this very moment.
E: Why?
J: Because it has flair.
E: You already have flair. Also, what's another good word for "demolish?"
J: Destructify.
E: You're very flairful I'm not putting destructify in a newspaper article.
J: Don't suppress my flair! I will smite you! You will be smitten! Or smited! See also: Destructified.
E: The sentence is "rather than demolishing the derelict building" ... I need a better word because I already used 'demolish' once.
J: What's wrong with destroy?
E: Because the building was burnt down rather than demolished. So.. 'destroy' wouldn't work, because it was destroyed... by fire.
J: Burning destroys. It also burns. Sagacious is me!
E: But then the sentence basically reads, "rather than destroying the building, it was burnt." Also, do you have the minimum 37 pieces of flair?
J: I think you should just construct an entirely different sentence.
E: THAT SENTENCE TOOK ME A LONG TIME.
J: Like "That building got knocked the fuck out... by FIRE."
E: I can't say that!
J: Can too. I do it all the time.
E: You can't see me right now, but I have my head in my hands.
J: All through college, I wrote whatever I was thinking in my papers.
E: With that "I think I feel a migraine coming" look. Guess I'll just have to use 'demolish' twice
J: and I got HELLA A's. All the time. And they were always like, "You should be a writer. Come teach my kids. Please also to be taking all my monies and wordly goods. And sex my wife-person."
E: I'm not saying that the house got "knocked the fuck out" by fire.
J: Suit yourself.
E: You are not helpful.
J: Nope. I have destructified your confidence in my helpfulnessosity.
E: ARGH.
J: I've decided to pronounce my last name as "Hhhhhhhhhyo-nez" from now on, starting this very moment.
E: Why?
J: Because it has flair.
E: You already have flair. Also, what's another good word for "demolish?"
J: Destructify.
E: You're very flairful I'm not putting destructify in a newspaper article.
J: Don't suppress my flair! I will smite you! You will be smitten! Or smited! See also: Destructified.
E: The sentence is "rather than demolishing the derelict building" ... I need a better word because I already used 'demolish' once.
J: What's wrong with destroy?
E: Because the building was burnt down rather than demolished. So.. 'destroy' wouldn't work, because it was destroyed... by fire.
J: Burning destroys. It also burns. Sagacious is me!
E: But then the sentence basically reads, "rather than destroying the building, it was burnt." Also, do you have the minimum 37 pieces of flair?
J: I think you should just construct an entirely different sentence.
E: THAT SENTENCE TOOK ME A LONG TIME.
J: Like "That building got knocked the fuck out... by FIRE."
E: I can't say that!
J: Can too. I do it all the time.
E: You can't see me right now, but I have my head in my hands.
J: All through college, I wrote whatever I was thinking in my papers.
E: With that "I think I feel a migraine coming" look. Guess I'll just have to use 'demolish' twice
J: and I got HELLA A's. All the time. And they were always like, "You should be a writer. Come teach my kids. Please also to be taking all my monies and wordly goods. And sex my wife-person."
E: I'm not saying that the house got "knocked the fuck out" by fire.
J: Suit yourself.
E: You are not helpful.
J: Nope. I have destructified your confidence in my helpfulnessosity.
E: ARGH.