I'm just... down. I'm not trying to complain, or ask for sympathy or fake friendship or anything like that. Just stating what I am, and I dont' know how to stop it. I know.. don't do the self pity bit, don't dwell, externalize, keep yourself busy, listen to music, write, draw, read, set goals and stick to them, don't let it interfere with school or work. Just keep going. Right? But what about when all that psychobabble bullshit doesn't work? What about when its 1:15am and I can't sleep cause I can't stop crying for no apparent reason? What about when I just stare at my homework for hours on end because I cant' even make myself read it? What about when even my old fucked up coping mechanisms don't work anymore? I know its no one's problem but my own, I know I have to fix it myself. I'm just admitting that I really don't know how, or if I can. Feeling weak and wanting to not be alone right now.
gamma:
Do you see a therapist at all? I was on meds for a long, long time and amazingly was able to get off of them and am really happy. It was a long road though so I know what you're going through. I know that's probably not any consolation since you are feeling so terrible ... if you ever need to talk to someone who has been there drop me a line.
aj_paradiselost:
Crissy Crissy Crissy, Crissy Crissy Crissy. Yer all whipped and everything, ha ha ha. Let me know how fucked up you got..little freak.....L8er.........AJ