edit: on a happier note, i'm a siren
-----------------------------
i was just thinking yesterday about how my birthday's coming up soon... then i realized just how unfair life is right now.
the guy who hurt me recently was an ex-boyfriend. we dated for eight months, and after we broke up neither of us wanted to tell our parents about it, so we've kept up this charade for the past six months, pretending we're still dating. and even after recent events, i don't want to have that conversation with my parents where i tell them we're broken up... so, despite that he's the last person i want to see right now, i still have to see him (though i certainly won't be seeing him as often as i used to). and please, no one bother leaving comments telling me we should end the charade because i should never be around him for another minute ever... i won't listen, don't waste your time, we'll tell our parents at some point, now just isn't the right time. and yes, i know i'm stupid.
anyway, what does this mean for my birthday? it means that, since we're pretending we're dating, i will have to spend my birthday with him. it'd look majorly weird if i didn't. wonderful. that's how i get to spend my birthday, with someone i don't really want anything to do with right now. that's just not fair. no fun happy birthday for me. the only other people i might wanna spend my birthday with aren't really available right now, but still, i'd rather spend my birthday alone than with him.
also, i have another art history 1 exam next week. yay. more stress and less free time for jenn. just what i always wanted.
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that i despised
i don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
~ akira yamaoka, "room of angel," silent hill 4 sdtk
-----------------------------
i was just thinking yesterday about how my birthday's coming up soon... then i realized just how unfair life is right now.
the guy who hurt me recently was an ex-boyfriend. we dated for eight months, and after we broke up neither of us wanted to tell our parents about it, so we've kept up this charade for the past six months, pretending we're still dating. and even after recent events, i don't want to have that conversation with my parents where i tell them we're broken up... so, despite that he's the last person i want to see right now, i still have to see him (though i certainly won't be seeing him as often as i used to). and please, no one bother leaving comments telling me we should end the charade because i should never be around him for another minute ever... i won't listen, don't waste your time, we'll tell our parents at some point, now just isn't the right time. and yes, i know i'm stupid.
anyway, what does this mean for my birthday? it means that, since we're pretending we're dating, i will have to spend my birthday with him. it'd look majorly weird if i didn't. wonderful. that's how i get to spend my birthday, with someone i don't really want anything to do with right now. that's just not fair. no fun happy birthday for me. the only other people i might wanna spend my birthday with aren't really available right now, but still, i'd rather spend my birthday alone than with him.
also, i have another art history 1 exam next week. yay. more stress and less free time for jenn. just what i always wanted.
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that i despised
i don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
~ akira yamaoka, "room of angel," silent hill 4 sdtk
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
I was away for a week and unable to check in so I'm just reading this now. I won't get all soapbox on you, but I hope things are ok, or rather, I hope things improve.
a hug and a kiss if it means anything.
xoxo
i think i saw a glimpse of your smoking body on a banner here on this site up on the top of a page, but then some other advertiser made it disappear. i haven't read back to your other entries yet, but did you get a banner deal from some company>??
see ya-
p.s. why pretend to date? if you come up straight to both parent parties, they won't be too shocked, will they? i mean, shit like this happens at our ages..