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jennrose

SG Since 2004

Followers 6564 Following 4345

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Wednesday Nov 24, 2004

Nov 23, 2004
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today, when i was talking to jon, i just started laughing. why? because i suddenly realized how utterly confused i am about so much that's going on in my life. it just hit me that i have no idea what i want and no idea what to do anymore. i'm not sure what my goals are at all. i'm not sure if i'm happy or not. i just have no clue, and in a way it's very funny.

there are some people in my life i just don't understand, and for some reason i want to understand them. it bugs me that i don't feel i understand them well. i can't tell what they're thinking. i'm not sure if i analyze their actions too much or not enough. i have no idea what they think of me, and i want to. i should just ask them and be done with it, really. they might lie, but they also might tell the truth, and it'd be a lot better than all this conjecture. my guessing gets me nowhere, because in the end there's no answer key; unless they outright say it, i'll really never truly know. of course, asking people stuff like that really puts them on the spot, but i ask people all kinds of weird stuff, anyway. though, you know what? i imagine they don't even know how they feel towards me, and that's the response i'll get. but i might as well ask, because ya never know till ya try.

i think i'm thinking too much right now. it's probably because i only got two hours of sleep last night... lack of sleep makes me very introspective. i'm not sure if that's good or bad. being introspective can easily make me depressed, but sometimes it leads to important realizations. god, i can't believe how much i don't understand myself. and right now it's 4am and i kind of have this urge to go outside and blow bubbles, but the weather kind of sucks and my bubble wand and solution are at home, anyway. maybe over thanksgiving break i can blow bubbles... it's such a nostalgic form of entertainment and fun.

oh god, my mind is continuing to wander and i'm beginning to overanalyze people's actions and it's making me unhappy... i think very soon i will go to sleep, that way tomorrow i won't be sleep deprived and so hopefully i won't be so damn introspective... that'd be really good.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
g_whiz:


Some people are like a tootsie pop, and want you to keep licking. Some people are like baked alaska and will be chilly inside regardless of what happens around them. The thing about either type is that if you are just trying to get to the inside, you've missed the point entirely.

g-whiz and the zen of over-wrought food metaphors!
Nov 25, 2004
g_whiz:
ok now I'm thinking that was pretentious and hypocritical. Perhaps even hypercritical.

As my way of apologizing, please accept this piece of pie.
Nov 25, 2004

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