jenbat

Sitting in dim lamplight
She sighs and pauses writing
Is she truly here?
People and laughter swell and surround her
A Girl alone
Laying beside him in bed
A Girl alone
Floating through life
A living ghost
Losing sight of all she was and knows
In love and Invisible
A Girl alone


I wrote that months ago, but unfortunately it still holds true. Im such a spazy neurotic wreck. I try to make things better, try to explain or reason why I say, act, or do the things I do and somehow it makes it worse. I don't understand how I keep coming back to this place of uncertainty and confusion. I know I love him. I know he loves me. i know relationships are hard work and things get rough sometimes. But why does it seem like nothing we say to each other ever makes it better? Why is happiness such an elusive creature? The more you love the more you hurt....seems rather like a raw deal.

*current song* Razed in Black - Am I 2 Blame?