jelly_roll

The Guys' Rules


> At last a guy has taken the time to write this all
> down
>
> Finally, the guys' side of the story.
> (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
> We always hear "the rules"
> From the female side.
>
>
> Now here are the rules from the male side.
> These are our rules!
> Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
> ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1. Men are NOT mind readers.
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> We need it up, you need it down.
> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
> down.
>
> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
> or the changing of the tides.
> Let it be.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want.
> Let us be clear on this one:
> Subtle hints do not work!
> Strong hints do not work!
> Obvious hints do not work!
> Just say it!
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
> almost every question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
> solving it. That's what
> we do.
> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
>
> See a doctor.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
> an argument.
> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
> Days.
>
> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
> girls, don't Expect us to
> act like soap opera guys.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> Don't ask us.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
> and one of the ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something
> Or tell us how you want it done.
> Not both.
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it
> yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have
> to say during
> commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
> neither do we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
> default settings.
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin
> is also a fruit. We
> have no idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
> We do that.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We
> will act like nothing's
> wrong.
> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
> to, Expect an answer you
> don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
> you wear is
> fine.Really.
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
> are prepared to discuss
> such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation,
> or BASKETBALL.
>
>
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this.
> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>
>
> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's
> like camping.