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jekyllandhyde

Austin, Texas

Member Since 2005

Followers 83 Following 132

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Sunday Mar 02, 2008

Mar 2, 2008
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After the shittiness of the last few days (see previous posts), I finally have something good to report: I've reached what I've projected to be the halfway point of my novel: 75,000 words and almost 250 pages. Although I'm not entirely certain if that will actually be halfway; there's still a lot more to go from where I am in the story. But when I look back on how much has happened in the pages I've already written, I wonder if maybe another 250 pages actually will be enough for everything. The Austin Agents and Editors Conference is in early June; I would love to have the whole draft completed by that point, but I've told myself I'll settle for 400 pages and a complete 10 page outline.

Plus, if I get rejected from all the grad schools I applied to (an increasing worry), I'll need to really sell myself and my book (because these days, you have to convince agents and editors of your marketability as an author and not just your work) if I'm going to have any chance of making something of myself this year. Otherwise I'll just end up like everyone I know back in Indiana who I was scared to death of turning into. I'll just be second place again, like I always used to be. I can't let that happen, no matter how much work it takes.

I think I can sell myself pretty well; I'm young, energetic, I've worked in a book store for eight years so I know how to market books, and I'd make a good and entertaining interview. It's marketing my book to whoever I talk to at the conference that I'm more concerned about; I've NEVER been good at describing my work -- I like just letting it speak for itself, but that's not an option until you're an established successful writer. I'll need to find some way to whittle everything down to about a five-minute verbal pitch. That'll take some work too, but I've got some time to worry about it.

I've gotten two grad school rejections and eight sci-fi literary magazine rejections and I'm already feeling like a failure, like I'll never be able to convince an agent/editor to invite me for a second meeting and that no grad school will think I'm good enough. Of course that's an overreaction, and I need t fight that kind of despondency, but it's still gnawing at me. This is where playing sports for most of my life comes in handy: it teaches you to keep fighting through adversity. I just need to keep that mentality now.

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