jejunebug

i actually got some work done today, so that's good.
i was just in such a mire over the song i was working on before, i don't think i like it anymore and that made it hard to be inspired for.
i think i'm doing better now musically.

i'm always late in practically everything i do.. timing is not my forte.

i've heard it said that if you look at one thing and say.. "if i had that, i'd be happy," you're probably not gonna ever be happy.
i dunno. i guess most of the time i'm okay, not depressed and i function. but at intervals i can't help but feel that there is something fundamental missing, and that i'd really be happy if i could just get a connection, if i could fall in love and be loved in return. i've felt happy because of that before, even though i was mistaken about being loved in return.

writing all this here is weird, as it is in any online diary/journal/whateveryouwanttocallit. i mean, i could just write this stuff down somewhere where no one could read it. why don't i? i'm not sure.