jeffvader

nightmares and hallucinations...gotta love life's little ticks

i woke up once this morning:3:30am

then i woke up again: 5am

the first was hallucination related. the second, fucking nightmare related. my hallucinations are weird. i always seem to be paralyzed and someone is either atttacking me, crawling in bed with me or hovering over me. and i'm always in bed: half asleep and half awake. my old doc says they are called hypnogogic hallucinations. i rarely have hallucinations in my waking life. and the nightmare: a fucking huge tiger (what tiger isn't fucking huge except for cubs) was in this small cage and my mom was right next to it. itold her to run and lock herself in her bedroom. i tried to lock myself in an office that i didn't recognize. as i stepped outside of the office to pull the door closed the tiger roared in a ferocious voice: " what did you do?"
and it looked like it was going to jump over the short cage...that's when i woke up...i hate my fucking dreams sometimes. i wish i could have my crazy sex dreams more often...eva longoria and vanessa del rio were also in my dream last night. vanessa was older looking but still sexy and i got to see eva's right breast which was strange. i don't even watch desperate housewives but i know who she is and she was on snl last night but i didn't see it, i just knew she was on. what can i say, i'm sex starved. i feel like a monk. i take care of myself but it's been a long while since someone has "taken care of me"...