Well here it is, the first Suicide Girls Journal that I am dropping. Will anyone read it? Probably not. Do I care, ehh a lil. but i didnt join this site to fulfill my psychological need for human contact. So without further ado, here we go...

My Mom calls me today for our weekly chit chat. Blah blah blah back and forth for a few minutes, then she hits me. "Oh your father has emphasema". The sound of a record scratching to halt fills my head. Huh?? My Mom then tells me its not really bad, just feels a tightness in his chest when he breathes. Okay not too bad there. Then she tells me the dumb fuck still smokes! Now what the fuck is that. They told him it shouldnt get any worse if he quits, and he keeps going??? Now my dad isnt a chain smoker, and has smoekd on and off his whole life. He started again when his contractor buddy of his has been working on their house, they would smoke a few a day. But he still is having his few a day since the doctor told him a month ago. I know its an addiction, I know its tough to kick, but he kicked it before, he just doesn't seem to care. I dunno waht to do, what to say. My mom said I could be as hard about it as I wanted. I just dont know... should i say, smoke again ill never talk to you? Would that get him to stop? Should I just make him a nice cover for the Oxygen tank he will be having to cary around if he doesnt stop? Or am I just amkinga big deal about it? Hmm Some deep thought I need to have I suppose.

I promise to write some light hearted fun entries now and again too. Thanks for listening... if anyone is out there