jcup

Tonight starts my work week. After my recent thoughts and feelings about my job being worthless and a waste of time, going back has a different feeling. Last night I was at the tanning salon waiting for my girl while she tans. I read these travel magazines filled with exotic places, beautiful things, and exciting adventures that I have yet to experience. The only other country I've been to is Canada. I thought about my age, the direction my life is going, and about Deacon's journal and it's last sentence. It asked what are you doing today to help you be where you want to tommorrow? The answer is, I dont know, but I want to start. I find it funny how much life is determined by your mindstate and how you look at it all. I feel like an idiot at the mall looking at those pictures that you can only see if you unfocus your eyes. Im just starting to see part of the sail on the boat, but it's taken a long time looking. I had allmost given up trying or striving for more. The last few years I've felt like an old broken man. I looked back at my past and youth as if my life were over. Now Im on the come-back. I'd like to regain the same drive and energy for life that I had when I was 19. Now that I've been through alot and learned alot, that energy could be alot more usefull and effective now. Well, off to start my day. On the menu for this afternoon is visits to the park and waterfront followed by check cashing and Taxes filing. Have a good weekend kids.