jcup

So I have a thought right now. I often have thoughts like these that help me with my life. I was thinking about how Im in a holding pattern right now. Holding, waiting for things to change and gates to open to allow me to live and work towards where I want to go. It made me think of two things. One...the bible says that hell is a holding cell, not as much a place of torture. This made me think of number two which is that jail felt the same way. The bad part about both is there is no options and no change. You have nothing to work forward to or progress at. All living things are meant for change. Even non living things change. Thus is nature. Hell/Jail defies nature and traps you. People who are depressed are trapped and hindered in their own minds and cant escape hopelessness and sadness. Change and progression are amongst the most needed things in nature and I believe humanity. I think of times that I was traveling with no money and not knowing how I was gonna survive. I think of times that were horrible and tragic. But when I think of my worse times in life...its when I was depressed with no hope and no options. I think that's because I felt like I wasnt living at those times. (fight club) "our battle is for our souls...our great depression...is our lives". There is a battle inside myself and most of us. This battle is to kill the insecurities, the self doubt, the limitations, and the procrastination we all have. Crush the hopelessness and strive for strength. It's hard to fight an enemy that lives within. Especially in a system that instills this in you. Subdued masses that have doubt and fear are easily controlled.

Anyways...that's my thoughts. And my solution to this is to start this change in myself. Control all of these factors and defeat the ones that challenge my goals, my happiness, my life. Change my mindset and take back what is righfully mine. Opportunity and free will. I think it's funny that my brother has "Free Will" tattood to his wrist, but only now do I fully understand. Thanks for listening to my rant and I wish everyone else the same in their lives.