jcup

I need to change. I know I'm acting so fucked up. I dont like the situation Im in. The people around me are affecting me in a bad way. I dont want to fuck up the one good thing I do have. ie Dawn. I am stressed about alot of stuff too. Work, student loan, roommates, and random shittalkers are fucking up my head. I feel like I'm in a constant state of worry and attack. It feels like a war, and I'm done fighting. It's like everyday I hear new negativity. Everyone tells me to watch out for my girl. Watch out for the roommate. Watch out for this person at work. It all has me super paranoid. I cant live like that. I help contribute to all the bullshit when I drink alot. I blackout and all the paranoia and anger comes out. I am going to change this starting today.
I want to focus on positive things and surround myself with good people. Im gonna build an immunity to all the shittalking and negativity. I totally need a mental workout to deter any thoughts that dont help me progress. When I'm worried and confused I dont get shit done, so I need to think of happiness as a must to get where I want to go. I feel like I'm living someone else's life cuz the way Im acting is definitely not me. Tired of writing. Im done