Havent been on here in a while. Alot has been going on. I got infected tonsils (it's still huge), I went to court and got put in a diversion program, my cable modem got shut off, then when it got turned on my computer was fucked. I cant check my email, log into msn explorer or msn messenger. It sucks. 90% of the reason I...
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So I was reading the Mercury Newspaper last night. They were listing winter activities to keep in shape during the winter. There was also an article about how working out at gyms suck ass. How basicly you're doing something that isnt fun under fluoresant lights packed with people you dont know. So, basicly your mind isnt motivated. I was actually thinking about that the other...
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mmonic:
im too wimpy to play dodgeball. i like trail runs but its not so much fun in the rain.
it was nice meeting you, did i say that already? homegirl and i got a little crazy. we tend to do that. that shithole is the perfect place, dont you think?
it was nice meeting you, did i say that already? homegirl and i got a little crazy. we tend to do that. that shithole is the perfect place, dont you think?
deacon_:
Hey Brother, Whats the Happs?
I just took some online depression screening tests. They all said that I have severe depression. I was actually suprised by this. I think my bad points are bad temper, pesimistic, and I worrry and overanalyze alot of shit. Then again, I would say Im generally a pretty mellow guy who has a decent sense of humor. Hhm 
I dont know. Im feeling very contemplative...
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I dont know. Im feeling very contemplative... Read More
merry:
Just so you know... a lot of those online tests you can take to find out if you're depressed are sponsored by drug companies, who obviously have a vested interest in convincing people they're sick. If you're really worried about it, see a real doctor. Either way, I hope you feel better soon. 
faye:
I really wouldn't take the online tests too seriously...because they're just so unpersonal. And depression and any other medical condition is pretty personal.
I know I don't talk to you everyday or anything and I know that shit kinda always has you down and stuff but I don't think you're at the point where you need meds and it's not something that you want to get into if you don't need them. Once people start on them they usually end up depending on them for the rest of their life. And most don't see anything wrong with that but there is SO much wrong with it. With something like depression...I really feel like once you've been there it always lives inside you in some way shape or form and I know better than anyone that it can come back to haunt you time and time again. However, I also know that you have it in you to heal yourself if you've given the right tools.
Even if you are thinking of meds, don't just see your family doctor if you have one where you are....go to an actually psychologist and I would defidently try to get through things by yourself first before you jump into meds.
I know I don't talk to you everyday or anything and I know that shit kinda always has you down and stuff but I don't think you're at the point where you need meds and it's not something that you want to get into if you don't need them. Once people start on them they usually end up depending on them for the rest of their life. And most don't see anything wrong with that but there is SO much wrong with it. With something like depression...I really feel like once you've been there it always lives inside you in some way shape or form and I know better than anyone that it can come back to haunt you time and time again. However, I also know that you have it in you to heal yourself if you've given the right tools.
Even if you are thinking of meds, don't just see your family doctor if you have one where you are....go to an actually psychologist and I would defidently try to get through things by yourself first before you jump into meds.
It was my girl's birthday yesterday. I hope it was a good day for her. We didnt really do anything cuz she had to go to school today. We went and had a burger and some beers at my work, then we went to buffalo exchange and got stuff. I got a jacket that Im stoked on. it's exactly what I've wanted. I felt bad...
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skzoid:
Yep - too bad there are so many jerks screwing things up for us and we feel helpless. I need to get over this hump (getting rid of the store) so I can discover the next phase of my life.
k_kat:
I was in a shitty mood. Thanks for the lift though. 
I need more work. Badly. We're all fighting for hours at my job now. You're lucky if you get 15 hours a week. It sucks. And the search for a second job isnt going to well either. All of this reinforces the desire to have a good occupation that I love. I need to find out how to get these jobs that I think are...
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faye:
That would be the best....even if they don't need an intern because I know some places don't except them at all times of the year find out about volunteering for fuctions or even one day a week. As long as your associated with the company it will make it way easier when you're out of school and doing whatever. I know that it's like that with artists or curators for galleries, they take a lot of volunteers while they are still in school to do reparis on the gallery after shows and stuff but most people end up working there or working at an associated gallery after they graduate. They always tell you to go out to shows, volunteer and do whatever it is that you hear about. Because in a way...I don't feel right using sub culture....but you know what I mean. Most artist know other artist, it's like a community you get to know people because you'll see this person at four or five shows and start talking to them and just whatever. I'm sure it woudl be the same with interning and whatnot.
As for this mood thing.....
tired, in control and dazed
life has me knocked on my ass right now....
As for this mood thing.....
tired, in control and dazed
life has me knocked on my ass right now....
skzoid:
Happy unBirthday.
eternally-depressed
unknowing-anxiety
disappointed
[Edited on Jan 10, 2005 2:40PM]
eternally-depressed
unknowing-anxiety
disappointed
[Edited on Jan 10, 2005 2:40PM]
Today I spent time at the music store. I didnt buy anything, but it's very theraputic for me. I was too nervous to ask for an application. All the people that work there hang out at my work daily. We have a mutual hook up between workers. It's a good thing because none of us get paid shit. I need to get some headphones. I...
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cricket:
When does the numbing process being??
I want to be there
I want to be there
k_kat:
It was great even with all the kids. The service is incredible.
From 50 hours of work a week to 20 if Im lucky. What a change. Im stoked to have nice days and the time off though. I cant quit smoking and work everyday as well. Just like I cant go out drinking often and partying and expect to better my health or make some kind of positive change. So lately I've been watching the Kill...
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faye:
I love how you're always thinking...it's so intriguing to me.
The best job ever would be professional artist...which I could never do because I absolutely HATE this business side of it. I don't have a business mind at all. I'm ac ompletely dreamer and stuff.
Other than that, I would wanna be an art professor which is what I'm studying towards once I go back to school. Which is so amazing to me. I've been painting since before kindergarten but I didn't take it seriously until mylast year of highschool. I realized that without it, I'm just no happy. It's in me to do...and once I decided to go into art I've never looked back. Now I can't imagine doing anything else.
There are tons of things I think would be awesome to do. I would totally be a photographer. I think it would be HELLA awesome to do work for fashion mags or skateboarding mags or something like that. That would be complete awesome but it would be lonely in a sense. You have to travel all the time.
It's so funny because I have dreams about after I retire. I want to own this HUGE studio no my property and just get people, people of all ages, of all cultures, styles everything to come and just make art with me a couple times a week. I want to inspire them and show them everything I've learned. And in turn I know they would inspire me. I think that would be the coolest thing EVER!
The best job ever would be professional artist...which I could never do because I absolutely HATE this business side of it. I don't have a business mind at all. I'm ac ompletely dreamer and stuff.
Other than that, I would wanna be an art professor which is what I'm studying towards once I go back to school. Which is so amazing to me. I've been painting since before kindergarten but I didn't take it seriously until mylast year of highschool. I realized that without it, I'm just no happy. It's in me to do...and once I decided to go into art I've never looked back. Now I can't imagine doing anything else.
There are tons of things I think would be awesome to do. I would totally be a photographer. I think it would be HELLA awesome to do work for fashion mags or skateboarding mags or something like that. That would be complete awesome but it would be lonely in a sense. You have to travel all the time.
It's so funny because I have dreams about after I retire. I want to own this HUGE studio no my property and just get people, people of all ages, of all cultures, styles everything to come and just make art with me a couple times a week. I want to inspire them and show them everything I've learned. And in turn I know they would inspire me. I think that would be the coolest thing EVER!
faye:
You're welcome for answering your question, I had fun with it. I thought you would think I was a total geek for answering what I did though. When I talk about art with most people they're just like....right....*lol
I'm sorry that you had to go through the same things I did in a sense. It's totally hard but in other ways I'm also glad for you because I know that most of the character I have was built by the bad shit I had to go through when I was younger and I'm sure it's the same with you. And I like most people love the person you've grown into so you should never be ashamned of it. Not that I think you are.
I'm sorry that you had to go through the same things I did in a sense. It's totally hard but in other ways I'm also glad for you because I know that most of the character I have was built by the bad shit I had to go through when I was younger and I'm sure it's the same with you. And I like most people love the person you've grown into so you should never be ashamned of it. Not that I think you are.
So, I havent commented for a minute. Here we go. I was sick for new years, the lady and I are tryin to hustle to make money stretch, my goal is to survive this year with no jail time or any more hardships. I want to make smart moves from here on. I've been doin good with the no smoking thing. I still need time...
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merry:
Yay! I hope to be on here more too since I'm working less now.
faye:
Happy New Years
I like your resolution, seriously you always have to work to progress....always and forever it's one of those fights that lasts a lift time. People are always striving for something, you reach one goal and instantly make another, that's how life works.
I'm sorry you were sick for New Years that sucks, I was sick the next day it sucked so bad! I wish you and your girl all the best in 2005.
I like your resolution, seriously you always have to work to progress....always and forever it's one of those fights that lasts a lift time. People are always striving for something, you reach one goal and instantly make another, that's how life works.
I'm sorry you were sick for New Years that sucks, I was sick the next day it sucked so bad! I wish you and your girl all the best in 2005.
So... update. I quit smoking Thursday...smoked a couple cigarettes sunday night when I went out...but had yet to be put to the test. I hadnt smoked since sunday night and today tuesday I come in to work a 10 hr shift, get yelled at by some top notch general manager who doesnt know how shit works, then given the responsibility to take over for my...
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cricket:
happy new year! 
skzoid:
You are more than capable of running a crew. Being thrown into the position sucks though. You have great people and management skills - of course the money is in bartending though. Good Luck and Happy New Year. Give the lovely lady a hug for me.
Dan
Dan
Sorry I havent commented on anyone's journal and Im sorry for that. Merry Christmas to all. Well belated Merry Christmas. 
So tommorrow Im in court Again. Wish me luck... Again. Im trying to make a good transistion in my life lately. I went overboard this last week and now Im ready to start a strong good life. Sounds weird. But yeah, that's what Im doin. 
So tommorrow Im in court Again. Wish me luck... Again. Im trying to make a good transistion in my life lately. I went overboard this last week and now Im ready to start a strong good life. Sounds weird. But yeah, that's what Im doin. VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
merry:
I was just about to post in my journal lamenting what a crappy internet-friend I've been lately because I haven't been replying to journal coments and stuff. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
k_kat:
How was court?
All of the partying and avoiding catching the flu that everyone else at my work has got...has come to an end. It is now time to pay the piper. I feel like absolute shit. I havent smoked a cigarrette all today which makes me get sick...every time I quit. Im thinking of getting a yoga video. I use to take yoga in college and it...
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Im thinking of getting a yoga video. I use to take yoga in college and it... Read More
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mmonic:
youre the third person i know who got really sick today. dumb. its coming for me! oh no. well i hope you feel better soon.
harvdog:
well, too bad yer sick during the holidays, I wish I could've given my flu shot away to someone who needed it more than I do but I had no choice in the matter, was ordered to take it.
hope ya feel better.
hope ya feel better.
I had a bonding moment with my neighbor. He gave me a switch blade. I gave him a piece of mind that I wont beat him up. He thought I was gonna fuck him up. He owes me 80$ though. i reminded him many times about that. He comes from a rich family. He doesnt get shit though. I kicked out a crack head for...
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ryan:
i want a switch blade. badly. just so i could love it like it was a man.. 
justmee:
You're a nice neighbor, loaning out your cash. Maybe you should move in next to me!
About the whole job thing, I have a plan. I'm going to ask my uncle's fiance to help me make up an awesome resume, print off a shit load of copies, and actually start applying for these great jobs I've been seeing. I realized that it always comes down to laziness that I don't... so why not just be prepared?
Have a happy holiday. See you!
About the whole job thing, I have a plan. I'm going to ask my uncle's fiance to help me make up an awesome resume, print off a shit load of copies, and actually start applying for these great jobs I've been seeing. I realized that it always comes down to laziness that I don't... so why not just be prepared?
Have a happy holiday. See you!
If not your best bet is to call your internet company and they'll give you specific number to change on your modem
set up and after that it will be cake