jcrossuns

It had always shocked me how someone like you could make me feel so worthless; all of the progress you helped me make gone in a single moment.

But look at me now...

...and look at you.

I’ll never be too much, and I’ll always be good enough.

I’ve forgiven you, but I’ll never forget.

- Jaclyn

I wasn’t serious when I said I had setup my email account to send your messages to my spam folder where they would then be trashed and automatically deleted. I just said that so I’d never receive a response to my response to your response to my response.

Things are better.

I’m no longer bitter about what happened between us, and I finally let go...
Read More

Okay, this is really silly, but...

I MADE PATRICK LAUGH!!!

That NEVER happens!!!

Generally it’s “hey,” “hi,” “I’ll talk about quantum mechanics,” “I’ll talk about history,” make out, make out, make out, grind against cock, make out, make out, make out, grab my breasts, make out, make out, make out, grab my ass, make out, make out, make out, make out, make out.

But this...
Read More

“We’re young and alive, so let’s commit some crimes!” - First Date by Ninja Sex Party

One night in January, you sent a wall of text to my phone asking me to go out with you on Friday evening for a hike at Allardale park.

You ended your novel with “and bring wine... ;)”

For some reason this sounded like more than just a hike,...
Read More

Last night gave birth to the most horrific nightmare that I’ve ever experienced.

You had taken your own life.

I was in such severe denial that I couldn’t function properly.

I hurried to every resource available to me only to discover that they weren’t there anymore.

There was nothing that could give me answers, just newspapers upon newspapers that I would end up sifting through....
Read More

You would end up living with your boyfriend in his car for two months. You had no job, and felt that there was no hope. During a couple of our conversations where he came up, you would say that you two “went through some serious shit together.”

You sacrificed both your home and mental health for one...person; one person who would end up taking advantage...
Read More

When I had unblocked you and realized what I had done...

“Don’t worry, we won’t let them know you’ve unblocked them.” - Facebook

Also Facebook:

“Remember all that shit you tagged them in including pictures from your outings and other nonsensical feel good quotations and posts of affection? All of that gets restored. All. Of. It. Forget being subtle, bitch, because their already sparse profile...
Read More

Once Upon A Time in January of 2018...

I had been writing a lot at Barnes and Noble to the point where I started jokingly referring to it as my office.

The day I speak of in this entry wasn’t a particularly good day on an emotional level, as I was unknowingly being drained by our friendship.

I headed directly to the poetry section, grabbed...
Read More

January 5th, 2018

Part 4

After ten minutes of deciding on where to go for dinner, we finally decided on A WOK, the Chinese restaurant in the strip next to Acme. I had never been there, so it was something new, and it was better than driving to Highland Square for the other choices on your small list.

We got our food and retreated to...
Read More

January 5th, 2018

Part 3

I got our chai tea lattes and joined you at our table in the middle of the cafe. I moved my chair directly next to yours, so I could follow along as you read the first 45 pages of the script.

You excitedly asked me questions with every page turned, every question beginning with a gasp.

“Is she okay???” “Is...
Read More

I’m lost inside Patrick’s eyes, his smile; I’m lost inside of him completely.

This is something I wasn’t expecting. I care about the guy, but now I want more.

The people who work directly with him are helping to guide me through these emotions. They don’t want to see me hurt again.

I don’t want to be hurt again. I don’t want to be hurt...
Read More