jbusy

Someone give me $750, please.

Thanks for all the kind words and helpful suggestions on my last post.
I'm really just being a whiner, though.
Last night was awesome. Actually, the past few days have been really good.
Been drinking a lot but I wouldn't say that's a bad thing.
Got trashed carrying a bottle of rum around in my purse downtown last night until I went to hug an...
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I am undeniably miserable.
All I do is read and sit at my breakfast table, stare out the window and watch trains go by.
I thought it was just because I was bored and there's no other furniture in my house.
Nope.
I'm miserable.

There it is again.
That overwhelming feeling of fear and guilt.
It took three years to get me here so I can only imagine it'll take at least that long to recover. Like slowly counting backwards from one million. A few deep breaths between every number, every moment, every day.
Diving too deep for my own good to find the truth.
No life guard on...
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I made out in a car with a boy I've known since I was 13 last night. I made sure all hands stayed over the clothes and just as it started to get really steamy I climbed off of him and took him home. I'm experimenting. I always put out so I'm going to do the opposite for as long as possible and see how...
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I send my exboyfriend toooooooo many dirty pictures.
But I wouldn't if he didn't ask.
He's hot.
and I miss him a lot. =/

I went camping on an island. It was fantastic. Lived in my bathingsuit for two days. Not that I don't do that almost everyday anyway, but lived in my bathingsuit on the beach for two days. Woke up to the waves crashing two feet away from my tent and the sun reflecting off the water and shining through the little mesh window. It was wonderful....
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Had a panic attack and fainted last night.
Fell face first into the street and evidently almost got hit by a car.
I was out cold so I don't recall that part.
Spent the rest of the evening puking and crying.
I think I may have a concussion.
I am not handling this break up as well as I expected to.
Thank God for girlfriends...
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Shit is oh so good 90% of the time, now.
The other 10% of the time, I just drink the bad away.
So really, shit is just plain fabtastic. Even if a small percentage is just a drunken facade, at least I'm drunk and smilin'.
Being as tan as I am doesn't hurt either.
Lookin' good and feelin' good.
Jose and I make a wonderful...
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