jbusy

nothing is good.
I haven't been this low in a long time.
I can't sleep.
I'm not comfortable anywhere.
Not New York, not Florida.
Well, I remember feeling comfortable in Florida at one point, but now I'm just terrified to go back.
I'm afraid everything will be exactly the same, but at the same time I'm just as scared that everything will be different.
I don't smile anymore.
I threw my phone and stomped on it over and over and over again until it was broken.
Now it's broken, and I lost all the pictures of my puppies when they were born.
I'll never get them back.
I'm so upset.
I don't feel like there's a single person on this planet I can talk to about anything.
Nobody that's really going to understand because I don't even understand.
I don't know what's wrong with me. If I did, I'd have fixed it by now.
I wish there was someone who would just hug me and pet my hair and let me cry without asking me any questions.
It's weird to have so many people you love, but not a single person that could do that.
Nobody is completely objective about anything.

I miss the way summer in New York smelled to me the first time I experienced it.
It'll never be that fresh again.
Nothing will ever be as fresh as it was the first time.
and that's the most depressing thought I've had in quite awhile.