Ohmigod-ohmigod-ohmigod! Reagan is my new SG friend, and she invited me! Ok, enough being gay, but I am totally excited. Reagan is my favoritest SG super-hottie. Thank you Reagan, I'm ready to be a captain in your zombie army.
I finished painting my apartment and cleaned it. You can actually do stuff in it. And, with my electricity bill paid, I can have company. What's the occaison you ask, my brother came to visit me on an official college visit, he's getting ready to apply to schools. We had lots o' fun this weekend. Its my efforts to sway him to come here. Its crazy, you spend your childhood beating the shit out of each other and then you end up the best of friends. The campus tour and informational lecture were kind of lame, I could have told him all that bullshit, but we did get a free lunch from the brand new dining hall, which actually has lots of choices and some real decent food. Last night I took him to a kegger at my friends, we were kind of pooped though and headed out early. I bought this game for x box that has all these classic games, like Rampart, Marble Madness, Paperboy, Rampage and more. I had Marble Madness for Nintendo and loved it, and we both used to love Rampart for Genesis. So we've had fun playing that. Today we watched the Big Lebowski, classic, and then we went to the new mega mall in W Des Moines. The Scheels there is huge, and they had a bunch of cool shit. Well, I done.
Later all.
I finished painting my apartment and cleaned it. You can actually do stuff in it. And, with my electricity bill paid, I can have company. What's the occaison you ask, my brother came to visit me on an official college visit, he's getting ready to apply to schools. We had lots o' fun this weekend. Its my efforts to sway him to come here. Its crazy, you spend your childhood beating the shit out of each other and then you end up the best of friends. The campus tour and informational lecture were kind of lame, I could have told him all that bullshit, but we did get a free lunch from the brand new dining hall, which actually has lots of choices and some real decent food. Last night I took him to a kegger at my friends, we were kind of pooped though and headed out early. I bought this game for x box that has all these classic games, like Rampart, Marble Madness, Paperboy, Rampage and more. I had Marble Madness for Nintendo and loved it, and we both used to love Rampart for Genesis. So we've had fun playing that. Today we watched the Big Lebowski, classic, and then we went to the new mega mall in W Des Moines. The Scheels there is huge, and they had a bunch of cool shit. Well, I done.
Later all.
I guess when I feel this way, sleeping is like being dead. Isn't it Orpheus, the greek god of sleep? I think I remember from Odisseus some line between him and another god, how Orpheus was saying that he was helping mankind by letting the rest everyday from their toils, while this other god was saying that he was just giving them a little taste of death.
This morning I went to the campus counseling office, made an appointment. Maybe they can help, I'm all out of ideas. I've been doing some reading, maybe I need a different medication, Lexapro doesn't seem to help. I have no ambition, and I don't feel much of anything at all. I don't like it. I havn't taken any for a couple weeks, but it seems I should get back on it. Better to be a shiftless hushk than a shiftless corpse?
I think I just need some love. Sounds whiny and gay, I know, but I feel so alone, you know? Its kind of hard to get somebody to care for you when you mope around though; its kind of a cyle. its also kind of hard to compete when you go to big uni. that saturates the market with better looking, more confident, charismatic guys. I'm just a fat, mopy, shut in loser, in risk of flunking out and killing himself. Who wants to deal with that shit.
Oh well, give me 12 hours i'll be chipper again, then perhaps in another12 hours after that I'll suck again.