jazzcoffeelover

Today I had coffee with an old friend that at one time ment the world to me. It was nice to see him. However, it was incrediablly terrifying to realize I would give up everything I have worked so hard for to have one more chance with him. We talked, cried and laughed. It was really amazing to know that I loved someone so much and that another human being cared me an extreme amount. He told me something today that made alot of sense "Don't sit around waiting for things to get better, it is not always about the destination the journey is what makes you who you are." He is very right. I have been just waiting around, until this summer was over and I was back in school and living with Jacque, then I would be happy. I need to take advantage of my now. I need to be happy now! He told me dont wallow in your sarrow remember the good and cherrish it know the bad and keep that in your mind to keep you rational. He was so happy he has truly changed. He told me I forced him to be strong. He thanked me for everything that happened. He thanked me for abandoning him because it made him stronger. He told me he loved me and always would. It is nice to have that connection with someone. He will always have a part of me that no man ever could... my first love. He started crying I asked "Why are you crying?" he said "because I know one day you will move on and you will no longer be mine but you deserve someone who realizes how amazing you are. I am so sorry I didn't realize that in the moment and that I took you for granted but I would love it if you would allow me to be your friend because you are pretty fucking amazing!" I miss him and what we had but seeing him today made me realize that I am a strong woman. I have a brain and I am beautiful so one day I will find it again and it will be beautiful and incrediable. Thank you Anduriel for showing me I worth waiting for and I have a million things to offer and that any man would be so lucky as to have me.