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jaytan

Upstate NY

Member Since 2004

Followers 75 Following 140

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Monday Oct 10, 2005

Oct 9, 2005
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I should be asleep by now. I'd rather not. I didn't do enough this weekend. Who ever does?

Thanks to those of you who offered their 2 cents of support in dealing with my brother. I did speak with him shortly after that last journal, and among the many things we talked about, it was very clear that he's incredibly nervous about the thin line he has to walk -- that of professing this new Christian epiphany of his and of not alienating his family. Just the fact that he knows the line is there and is humbled about walking it tells me that he's gonna be okay. I've tabled our difference of opinions for the time being, ordering him to get back to watching wrestling and UFC, cuz as I phrased it "I ain't arguing with you over this shit for the next 40 years, dammit!"

I'm trippin' hardest right now on recent news of my friend Moe. She works as an expat over in Pakistan, and if you've been following the news, you know that earthquakes over there are the natural disaster du jour. She's ok, but apparently her apartment was destroyed. Of course, part of me wants her back safe and sound, but she's a tough cookie that wants to be on the front lines of helping out, and so I know her head is more focused on the locals who lost more than she did. After all, she's got a home here in the states to come back to. Many people there faced the same instant life-changing loss that people in New Orleans and Thailand did recently, and knowing her, she likely feels more at home helping out those around her rather than coming back to her Home Base.

More than anything, knowing that I've got little things like See Below to populate my life is starting to leave a bad taste in my mouth. I love the geek obsessions of my life, but when you think about it, there's so much priviledge in our lives that gets taken for granted -- having the money and attention span to partake in an online community of exhibitionists, art kids, and underground culture enthusiasts, for one. This Saturday, I'm taking my blue belt test in Kempo Karate -- like I need this stupid fuckin' thing. The test cost is an unavoidable $100. I'd bail out on Kempo altogether, but 1) it gives me real personal satisfaction on many mentally and physicially healthy levels and B) quitting would incur an even larger early-cancellation fee.

On the other hand, none of us chose the world, priviledged or not, that we were born into, and if we ended up staying there out of our own hard work and merits, so be it. Denying myself the things that I enjoy isn't necessarily going to feed the orphan kid in Afghanistan -- although it is important to contribute, in some way, to feeding that kid.

We all have our own personal demons to take up our day, robbing us of the time, energy, and money to spread good in the world, and our fight to battle those demons and deal with our own lives is a valid one, but things like what Moe is seeing now (as if New Orleans, 9/11, and the tsunami wasn't enough to kick me into pro-activity (yes, I did just come up with that zinger)) are a good reminder that on a whole, many of us have more than we need, and we as responsible and priviledged members of this country gotta check ourselves about kicking a little of our excess down to those who could use it more.

This is not meant to presume that any of you reading to this point aren't doing enough (TK, you're an inspiration to me in similar ways as Moe is), but this is the harsh reminder of where my friend's news has put me. Part of me seriously wants to throw in the towel on my career aspirations here in LA and pick up the baton of non-profit work and volunteerism. I'm not sure, however, that the most radical idea I can come up with, like that, is the best solution to contribute, however, so for the time being, that's out (although if I ever feel comfortable in doing so, trust me, I will make that move).

In the meantime, three resolutions off the bat that I know I readily can and will do:

1. Give blood.
2. Sign up for Habitat for Humanity.
3. Sign up for LA volunteer program.
4. Contact KICKstart about helping them establish an LA chapter.

In other, more petty news, today, I picked up CDs by Atmosphere, Brother Ali, and Professor Griff. The punchline is there, but I'm afraid you have to know who these people are.

As for the sexy sirens of the site this week, go look at HeatherAnn and Mary. Hoo-aaah!!

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
despairfactor:
Wrestling WAS going good, then I effed up my back again. Hopefully I'll be back at it before the week is done!

Sumo wrestlers eh? That would be hella different!
Oct 10, 2005
wendy:
BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA.
Oct 10, 2005

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