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jayne

United Kingdom

SG Since 2002

Followers 465 Following 48

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Sunday Mar 14, 2004

Mar 14, 2004
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tonite emotions have woken that have long lay dormant. tears flow freely that have too long been behind a high wall. my fingers pound at the keyboard vigorously, they can hardly keep up with my thoughts flooding from my mind. my life has come to a crossroads, i walk forward down a path i never thougth iw ould take, and in doing so, i am able to leave behind a part of me i never thought i would have to. luckily, i won't miss him, and i can't see him missing me much either, i've already vanished from his life as it is. quite honestly, it doesn't seem to have made any difference. he is not welcome in mine. severing ties is painful and difficult, but liberating and theraputic. i will not stay where i am not welcome or wanted. i will not allow myself to believe that what i feel or think is invalid or wrong, the tables will not be turned back on me, as i am leaving my burden on his shoulders to deal with until the day he passes.
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
ryan:
i know exactly how you feel.
painful and liberating... it feels good to take back that control. good for you for your choices....
Mar 16, 2004
creamygoodness:
I wouldn't say he's forgotten about us, as such, if I've given that impression then I guess I should have expressed myself a little better (except on AIM, where he's always too busy talking to you wink ). What I basically meant is, like you said, when you get into one of those moods, where you have a lot on your plate and a lot of things bogging you down, you end up not being very sociable and a bit more insular. In doing that you often end up seperating yourself from a lot of the things you love about a place (I'm hoping we're one of them wink ) which can just compound the problem.

On reading your entry, big hugs for you, it can feel invigorating taking back your own life like that, being the one in the driver's seat. It's hard and it hurts, but you'll feel renewed at the end of it smile
Mar 16, 2004

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