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jayne

United Kingdom

SG Since 2002

Followers 465 Following 48

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Wednesday Feb 11, 2004

Feb 11, 2004
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feeling rather fickle today. posted some poetry earlier this morning, i quite liked it actually, but now i've decided it should come down. (replacing words from a brilliant mind with my drivel, dont' know about that) anyway, i just feel the need to blather on a bit.
it feels like spring again, the sun is out and the sky is blue. it's quite warm out for february, and i'm anxiously awaiting spring time. this is a bit unusual for me, i'm not a huge fan of the sun and warm weather, but i just feel like i'm shedding a few layers and starting fresh. yesterday i felt like shit, finances were in the gutter, and they still are, but i've just b een thinking of ways to change that. i'm doing my best to save every penny and dime i can, but it's not easy.
was listening to the stripes today while driving home from work (5 hours early biggrin) and i could just feel myself let go of a lot of negativity i've been carrying around. i really want to try to hang onto a positive attitude for a while. with work especially, i dread going in...and then i just sit and wait until i get to leave. but i really should enjoy work more than i do. i get to play with dogs all day for fucks sake, what's wrong with that? it's just hard when you know you're leaving soon.
i have such a hard time really getting focused these days, i'm so manic depressive i either mope for ten hours on my couch on a day off, or i'm cleaning at 4am like a mad woman! i can't take ten minutes to breathe, and calm myself, gather my thoughts. i feel like i'm all over the place. i'm sure it shows in my journal entries as well. blush up one moment, down the next, story of my fucking life. i still haven't gone to a doctor yet about my 'psycological' issues...i probably should. so much to get straightened out and done, i need to make a big list of the shit i have to get done, that way i'll actualy do it. sometimes i just function best that way.
if you've made it this far through my babble, i applaud you, i do apologize, i really have nothing important or interesting to say this afternoon. sometimes it's nice to be able to use this space to record things that no one really gives a shit about except me. whatever and i suppose that's ok, right?
ok, i'm drifting further off than i'd like, so i suppose i'll wrap it up. i'm gonna go make a list now. blackeyed
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
sempi:
hi.
Feb 12, 2004
cousindell:
hello hun..aw i wish you coulda been with us last night we miss ya!!! wink

*bear hugs*
kiss
Feb 13, 2004

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