jayn

I'm in really bad shape right now. I can't afford my medication that makes me sane. I've been off of it for a week and I am so sick. I constantly feel like I am going to pass out, I'm nauseated and I feel like crying every second. I'm crying right now for no reason. Well, besides the fact that I feel like I'm dying. I don't want to get out of bed tomorrow. I have class at 8 and work at 10. Hopefully I will be okay by Friday because it's my birthday. If I'm not, I have to cancel my party. I've been really lonely lately. I can't figure out why I can't pull the hotties. It wouldn't even matter if they were hot. I want a companion. I want to feel loved. I want someone to make me feel safe... to make me feel okay. But, I can't make it happen. It will on it's own when the world thinks that I am ready for something like that. I miss being able to call someone just to say hi or just to hear their voice because I know it would make me happy. I just keep waiting for the time when someone walks into the room and my stomach drops. I'm moving to Seattle after I graduate. I don't care what anyone says. I want to move to a place where no one knows anything about me. And for some reason, as depressing as people say Seattle is, I know it will make me happy.

I am a wreck.

(EDIT)
P.S.
I'm okay now. I got some money for my crazy pills. And I am fucking sick and tired of EVERYONE AND THEIR FUCKING MOTHERS telling me, "Omg, your roommate is so hot" Seriously, SHUT THE FUCK UP.