jaybugg

What happens in New Orleans stays in New Orleans.....Sorta This is a long but highly fucking enertaining story. for once, READ MY FUCKING BLOG. I really hate friends who never bother to read, or hey REPLY TO MESSAGES

I do like my long stream of epic awesome Kemper PMs, though ^_^

So I went, and before I continue, I had a blast overall cept for a couple...hiccups. So I will give an overview now of the adventures of Jay and his friend Mike:

Friday we arrive at the lovely hotel, and after prepping to hit the town, we pregame with large jagerbomb shots (this is at 330pm)
The first place we hit is Red fish grill for food, which was quite tasty. I had alligator gumbo and a Po' Boy Sammich.
Next up, I drag Mike into the Old Absinthe House, (which was fucking weird cause it was also like a sports bar)
We each have a glass of absinthe, I teach the bartender a new way to make it, and Mike feels the effects immidiately
Next, after a couple random bars, is the Cat's Meow. Kareoke. To summerize:
Mike Dances with girl, while Jay gets more drunk
Jay does Tainted Love, actually quite well, his first kareoke EVER.
Jay DANCES, yes DANCES to some hot hits like (I don't EVER dance)

I am posting this version because of Kemper (Cause she fucking rocks)

And I even learned how to bust a move to:

And Jammed it out with a bachelorette party to


Eventually, I decide we must stumble out of this wonderful bar, and see what other exciting things might be going on..At this point in hindsight, is where the night takes a slight twist...

I find a random place that looked fun, and said hey Mike, let's go here, I see a few hotties walking about, and there's no cover!
The Place I thought was a bar, appears to be a strip club. *shrug* okay I can deal with this.
I sit, a girl instantly sits next to me. We talk. Talking quickly turns into hand down Jay's pants and his hand on her ample breasts. See, turnsout strip club is actually a SEX ACT CLUB.
Now normally I'd be like, yeaaah fun as this is, Imma bounce. However *comma*, Jay is drunk. at this point
my brain said something along the lines of "FUCK YOU FUCK YOU YOU AREN'T LISTEING I'M LEAVING
And Jay's Penis said, "Okay, well I am going upstairs with this girl!"
And Jay's wallet spews money for him and mike to have fun

To summarize THIS part: *READ TIHS IF YOU DON"T READ ANYTHING ELSE*
Jay spends 2K, 2K gets Jay the following items:
A pill he is pretty sure he wasn't supposed to take
More alcohol

A threesome, which was like the fucking buffet of sex, cause I tried a little bit of everything.
The BEST part (aside from fucking two girls in every way possible) was the fact the WHOLE time beforehand they are teasing me, and feeding me bbooze, all to get me to WAM BAM THANK YOU MAN. HA!!!!!!! Joke was on them, cause I just kept going like a skinny tattooed shit faced energizer bunny!!!!!! And don't tease me with anal cause I damn well will do it


Mike is drunk and screams at his girl cause she is an annoying bitch and dissapears into the night (found safely at hotel later, unscathed)
Two hours later I stumble into hotel, fairly certain I should be submerged in disinfectant.

Sat rolls around, much simpler:
Ca'ts Meow again
Less drinking
site seeing.
Casino, were I bank $300 on black jack, and go clubbing with what seemed to be half of Japan's young crowd. Asians far as the eye can see. at some point mike left. I could tell because he was 3 feet taller than everyone save me. Awesome time though.

I am not really ANGRY about what I did Friday I decided, save for the fact that was my vacation money. I now have to tell Mneylu, and my good friend Ashley I cannot possibly safely afford my toronto trip. I feel like such shit for it. THAT is really the only thing I regret. And the fact I'm going to have to have a swab in me pee pee hole sometime this week...

I thought I was angry cause it made me miss Jenna, then I decided that was fucking stupid.
I would go back and change it if I could, but I can't. And whatever in my soul decided I needed to just let all my morality, frugality, and sanity out the window apparently thought it was best.

So there you have it. That's how it went.. And to quote Mike "Let the good times roll...All the way to the clinic." (He has jokes)


Thanks for tunin in! And hopefully not judging me as a gross pig!
I never did find a monkey paw, which was the whole point of the trip...