jasperellah

Question for everyone.....


If you had a chance to make a lot of money.... but it would mean you would have to conform completely, change your entire appearance, change your hair tkae out all of your piercings.. and change the way you dress completely for 3 months..... would you do it?

..... My dad has a job for me in Virginia of all places, but i would have to do a fuckn 180 ..for three months.. and maybe this sounds fuckn lame, but im stubborn as fuck when if comes to chainging anything about myself.. its either you dela with who i am and what i look like or fuck off. Even any job ive ever had..they would either have to let me keep my appearance or fuck off...

so that's my little problem i am faced with right now...earn money and conform for 3 months... or stay who i am.. and be poor untill i find a job here.

and i'd have to be leaving this saturday.....which means no more journal updating untill i get back....

and ill have to fly and im scared ot death, i can see myself the entire time and having an anxiety attack the entire flight.......gah. is theyr anything to prevent getting really fuckn motion sick on a plane? ..ive never flown anywhere...

Tuck me into where I'm falling,
Where I can feel the heat rise underneath my wings
and all the fallen angels in hell
will tuck me away from you,
take me away from everything
Tuck me into where there's dying,
Tuck me in with flames and tuck me in with flies,
Maybe then you will appreciate your only friend
with maggots in her eyes or as ashes in the sky

I pour out onto the floor
like liquid white from fallen glass,
Nothing to cry over
My skin went sour long ago
It knew it had no place left to go