jasonmcdermott

i've always been a huge fan of jared leto and well, sometimes i get into my own little world and forget about the world around me. thus, until the VMAs (which, I'm sad to say I watched due to the extensive garbage that MTV usually plays) last night I didn't even know he had a band. so, i went out today and picked up the latest 30STM album. awesome? you could say that. not only is jared's writing amazing it has given me some hope for the future.

i've been having issues with success lately and finding my way. everything i did growing up was in culmination for one major event that would have set me up for life. i was studying to be a surgeon. about a year and a half ago though that dream was shattered when i was booted from medical school after a year due to low grades (partially my fault and partially the fault of mononucleosis and fully the fault of the god-damn bureaucracy known as SUNY Upstate Medical University). anyways, enough bitching. i've been completely turned off to medicine now and well, what the hell do i do with my life now that that is over. i'm looking into grad school, but for what?

i wish i could just find that one thing that i fully believe in and go for it. right now i'm starting a novel and i've been thinking about writing some music, unfortunately i have minimal to no guitar playing skills whatsoever and i get hungup easily and insanely frustrated at times. i guess that is the life of starving artist. then again who do i have to turn to considering i live in fucking geneva, ny. where do you look when you are in a small town that has nothing?

oh well. i guess life will go on and maybe just maybe something amazing will happen to me in the next year or so. i highly doubt that it will, but i can hope can't i?