jasond

Edit: I forgot, if you live in Kansas and can vote, make sure you go to the polls make sure you vote down the retarded amendment defining marriage as being between only between a man and woman. I mean it's going to pass no matter what cause we live in Kansas and we're a fucking red state, but at least we can try to make our voice heard.

I'm going to be officially old on Friday. 25. Yeesh. I need to practice yelling at kids on my lawn. I can already feel my back forming a nice hump. I'll look like the Professor on Futurama soon enough.

So yeah the Pope is dead and so is Terry Schiavo, but the real overlooked tragedy is Mitch Hedberg. I saw him when he was touring with Dave Attell and Lewis Black. He was an awesome comedian.

"I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips"

"I wrote a script for a guy, and he said he liked it but he thought that I need to rewrite it. I said, "Fuck that, I'll just make a copy.""

"On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the fuck did you get that banana at... "

Rest in peace Mitch.