jarfmonster

Here's a prime example of yesterday's post.

I have testicular cysts. If my scanner worked I'd have the ultrasounds on here to show you. But I don't

Anyway they flare up every now and again and cause considerable discomfort. Which is what has been happening for a week now. I've felt up the guilty nut and its free of tumors and hard rough spots, etc. There is nothing wrong with it besides the inflammed cyst, and I have medical evidence.

Then why isn't that enough for my psyche?

After 5 days of this nagging discomfort everything floods back in play. All those fears and worries rush into my thoughts as if they were the steerage passengers on the titanic who finally got passed that gate. What if this and how about that. For the most part, the symptoms for UTI, appendicitis, testicular cancer, bladder infection, kidney infection, and a hernia are all the same. *one, all, or no symptoms may be present*

Fuckers.

If I read about those generalized pains that turn into localized pains below the bellybutton that move to the lower right quadrant of your abdomen during appendicitis, soon enough those pains are there. But wait, does it hurt when I walk or cough? No! Sweet, cross off appendicitis! *one, all, or no symptoms may be present*

Fuckers.

You know what. I'll wake up tomorrow. I'll wake up tomorrow fine. Sure my nut will hurt but i won't be peeing blood or passing a kidney stone. I won't be vomiting or having abdominal cramps. My mind will make me look stupid again.

I'm still going to the doctor/urologist about the nut though. Not only for the peace of mind and probably anti-biotics (they work sometimes), but because even underneath all the hypochondria, this should be checked out. You just never know.

I hear stories all the time about a guy about 26 or in their mid 30s. He has a nagging pain in his side. Two weeks later he finds he has cancer completely covering his whole body. He dies 2 months later.

Those stories haunt my dreams. But I guess that's the point of this condition.