I'm not a good ex.
If there is such a thing.
Officially I've had 2 major relationships. I don't count the fun inbetween stuff. Each one of those ladies, I have not seen since the breakup (2003 and 2004 respectively). It's been 19 months since the last one. Sounds like a long time, right?
I don't bad-mouth my ex's, but I wouldn't necessarily put the halo on them either. They both hurt me to a certain extent. The first one kinda faded which made it easier. The second I wasn't so lucky. I was hung up on it for a little longer then I thought I would. Being in love then losing it isn't really 24hr flu type stuff. Ugh..
But sometimes, and a lot lately, it keeps coming right back in my face. Seeing her old friends, being places we were, the time period (spring-late summer). Since I haven't had much since then that's the last thing I have to feel. It sucks really.
But now there's a problem. I've lost what got me those two girls. My charm. I had charm like woah. I could swoon you off your feet out of your clothes and under the covers in 5 minutes, flat. Now I'm at this corny joke mindset, and it's killing me. Literally.
Having girlfriends 2 years in a row did a lot for my confidence. I couldn't tell you how many girls came up to me during the last relationship. Unlike my counterpart I did refrain from any more action on my behalf.
Was that considered bad-mouthing? lol
So its been 19 months. My confidence is shot. I have the confidence of a fat kid playing dodgeball. I am overly critical of my looks, and my mouth gets the best of me, always. I used to be able to go up to any girl and start a conversation. Now I can't look girls in the eye.
Kind of depressing aint it? I agree. It is. What the worst part of it all is... I consider myself to be one of the good guys. The guy that isn't desperately waiting for the third date to finally get some. Nope. I'm the good guy that every girls is looking for but ends up befriending. I'm the guy that all the girls don't go to when they give men a second try, and ulitmately get their hearts broken. Essentially I'm the good guy. How come no one has noticed?
Well after 19 months I start blaming shallowness, the girls themselves. It backlashes and I turn into a kind of meninist. Girls are the devil (even though i really need one) kind of thing. It's just so hard to find a girl that I'd like. There's tonsss on here but ofcourse no one lives near me. Hell no one reads this journal. I guess this is suppose to be therapeutic(sp)?
Sure I have no time for anything at all. I'd be willing to cut hours from work so I could have a lady.
What I guess I'm saying is that I'm on the market. But, um, no one is shopping? Or maybe I was put on the wrong self? Possibly I'm in the store no girls go in, or at least don't look hard enough in. I try, believe me I try my best.
Last year was the first time in 2 years I wasn't holding someone's hand during 4th of July fireworks. Well dammit it's not gonna be like that this year!
If there is such a thing.
Officially I've had 2 major relationships. I don't count the fun inbetween stuff. Each one of those ladies, I have not seen since the breakup (2003 and 2004 respectively). It's been 19 months since the last one. Sounds like a long time, right?
I don't bad-mouth my ex's, but I wouldn't necessarily put the halo on them either. They both hurt me to a certain extent. The first one kinda faded which made it easier. The second I wasn't so lucky. I was hung up on it for a little longer then I thought I would. Being in love then losing it isn't really 24hr flu type stuff. Ugh..
But sometimes, and a lot lately, it keeps coming right back in my face. Seeing her old friends, being places we were, the time period (spring-late summer). Since I haven't had much since then that's the last thing I have to feel. It sucks really.
But now there's a problem. I've lost what got me those two girls. My charm. I had charm like woah. I could swoon you off your feet out of your clothes and under the covers in 5 minutes, flat. Now I'm at this corny joke mindset, and it's killing me. Literally.
Having girlfriends 2 years in a row did a lot for my confidence. I couldn't tell you how many girls came up to me during the last relationship. Unlike my counterpart I did refrain from any more action on my behalf.
Was that considered bad-mouthing? lol
So its been 19 months. My confidence is shot. I have the confidence of a fat kid playing dodgeball. I am overly critical of my looks, and my mouth gets the best of me, always. I used to be able to go up to any girl and start a conversation. Now I can't look girls in the eye.
Kind of depressing aint it? I agree. It is. What the worst part of it all is... I consider myself to be one of the good guys. The guy that isn't desperately waiting for the third date to finally get some. Nope. I'm the good guy that every girls is looking for but ends up befriending. I'm the guy that all the girls don't go to when they give men a second try, and ulitmately get their hearts broken. Essentially I'm the good guy. How come no one has noticed?
Well after 19 months I start blaming shallowness, the girls themselves. It backlashes and I turn into a kind of meninist. Girls are the devil (even though i really need one) kind of thing. It's just so hard to find a girl that I'd like. There's tonsss on here but ofcourse no one lives near me. Hell no one reads this journal. I guess this is suppose to be therapeutic(sp)?
Sure I have no time for anything at all. I'd be willing to cut hours from work so I could have a lady.
What I guess I'm saying is that I'm on the market. But, um, no one is shopping? Or maybe I was put on the wrong self? Possibly I'm in the store no girls go in, or at least don't look hard enough in. I try, believe me I try my best.
Last year was the first time in 2 years I wasn't holding someone's hand during 4th of July fireworks. Well dammit it's not gonna be like that this year!
don't be down on yourself darlin', you're the best.
your time will come, etc, etc.
xoxo