I tripped again. stumbling over myself. kicking me when I'm down. digging. and digging. so that later someone somewhere with crossed eyes, a chesire cat smile, and one hand behind their back, can throw down a rope ladder. and I'll have to put all my trust in this curious character, just so I can climb out of this silly hole I've put myself into.
so...
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so...
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bacock!
in the confusion of becoming so deep, he inturn became shallow. now most of the time shallow is used as a term of aput down. but this shallow is in fact a good thing. he became so shallow that nothing was hidden from the folks around him. in other words he became himself. which is in fact noself.
love to all, and all to love....
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love to all, and all to love....
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feeling slow. feeling dumb. going to go shower and paint. not in the shower, after the shower.
must sacrifice my head for my (he)art. love to all.
I am her slave, but she does loves me. and that's why it hurts. she's my mirrior, to "find out". she wakes me. fills with guilt, then releases pressure. dumb and slow. dumb and slow. want to cry...
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must sacrifice my head for my (he)art. love to all.
I am her slave, but she does loves me. and that's why it hurts. she's my mirrior, to "find out". she wakes me. fills with guilt, then releases pressure. dumb and slow. dumb and slow. want to cry...
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jarelshow:
I have the fear. last night. as soon as I had fallen into slumber, I was "awakend" by something trying to steal me, my spirit/body/mind. paralyzed. trying to fight it off. trying to wake, to get out of this outer body experience. I can "see" my darkend room but cannot escape this "ghost". I tried to scream help to my mother, but found that I could not even breath. I try my hardest to wake and finally do. to find my body drenched in sweat. and a fear of falling asleep again. this has happened before but never this intense. and it kept happening all night. falling to sleep to be woken up by this eerie presence. this happened three to four times. and each lasted about an hour to a hour and a half. it started filling my mind with falsehoods. a kind of false reality. I thought spiders were going to attack me as I slept. I thought everyone was against me, and trying to steal me. I'm afraid to go to sleep tonight. because if this goes on again. I might be too weak to fight, and it might just take me. everyone be safe and much love. do not feel sorry for me. for this is supposed to happen. I don't know why? but it has happened , it is happening, and it's going to happen. the omniscient knows my breaking point. will it test it again tonight? I'll find out soon enough.
oh and I thought of a question last night, a strange question that includes everyone and everything.
it's hard being the center of the cosmos,
wouldn't you agree?
love to all. and all to love. xoxo
oh and I thought of a question last night, a strange question that includes everyone and everything.
it's hard being the center of the cosmos,
wouldn't you agree?
love to all. and all to love. xoxo
jarelshow:
whoa guys slow down on the submits
mmmmmm.........green. don't you love green. but yellow is so much better. "bacock!" says the chicken. look at my butt! I work out all the time! bwahahahahaha!!!. muster all the radiotor fluid that you have! then clean out your closets. so you can fill it with more stuff. like pots and tupperware. money for college goes to car.
"gotta go to work gotta go to work...
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"gotta go to work gotta go to work...
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alice:
my trip was good, and i was careful.... not currently making any films right now. i really need to start on my project for calarts, but i haven't yet. been tossing around some ideas. hopefully it will all come together soon.
littlegirllost:
Hiya! I'm in D.C. I went to jail because of the protest I was involved in. It was fun...really, I kind of dug it.
Anyway, I'm heading it Denver soon soon soon.
Love to you. Love love love.
Mel
Anyway, I'm heading it Denver soon soon soon.
Love to you. Love love love.
Mel
heart is hard to have.
yet harder still, not to.
"my heart stopped pumping, but my blood is still alive."
-Issac Brock
yet harder still, not to.
"my heart stopped pumping, but my blood is still alive."
-Issac Brock
go_lately:
i love how you've put into poetry the words that have tumbled, inexpressible, through my head for months now.
martyr13:
update your fuckin journal yo....
i have no new news of you..
this may however be a good thing...
but i am uncertain...
as i am not sure of the ebbs in the tide of your life...
mark
p.s.
thanks for the support
as always
i have no new news of you..
this may however be a good thing...
but i am uncertain...
as i am not sure of the ebbs in the tide of your life...
mark
p.s.
thanks for the support
as always
tired? tired. slothful funk. bed like a womb. warmth. dead, not dying. not dying. before dead.
get up. get out. get in. get out.
living oils at arms length. light spectrum calling, "awake and bring me to life." "but I cannot." "yes, yes, but you can try."
think, for money? makes me stop before I start. not for money. it knows. but need cash anyhow....
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get up. get out. get in. get out.
living oils at arms length. light spectrum calling, "awake and bring me to life." "but I cannot." "yes, yes, but you can try."
think, for money? makes me stop before I start. not for money. it knows. but need cash anyhow....
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littlegirllost:
Hello, you.
sixsixty:
lost again.
painting. ahh. freedom.
searching for the void?
searching for the void?
how can one search for something that isn't there
and that isn't not there?
the true tao is not the tao- loa tzu
the true void is not the void, and it's not, not the void.
nothing is still something, it's nothing.
anyway, everyone reading this already knows all that, right?
my there lil'niece jist gave me...
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searching for the void?
how can one search for something that isn't there
and that isn't not there?
the true tao is not the tao- loa tzu
the true void is not the void, and it's not, not the void.
nothing is still something, it's nothing.
anyway, everyone reading this already knows all that, right?
my there lil'niece jist gave me...
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jarelshow:
instantanious memory!
once, with my family outside my house, enjoying a BBQ. I was inside and was very low. I mean very, very low. stupid suicidal low, laying on a couch. and with tears in eyes, I pleaded to the omniscient omnipresent, "what possible reason is there that I should stay here on earth and should go on? what's the most important thing I possibly need to stick around for?"as soon as I finished whispering this under my breath and to myself. my youngest niece walked in the door, came right over to me, gave me a big hug and a smile, sat with me for a minute,and then walked back the door. once again something puts me in my place. but it's true. ah, but it's so true.
take whatever you want from that.
once, with my family outside my house, enjoying a BBQ. I was inside and was very low. I mean very, very low. stupid suicidal low, laying on a couch. and with tears in eyes, I pleaded to the omniscient omnipresent, "what possible reason is there that I should stay here on earth and should go on? what's the most important thing I possibly need to stick around for?"as soon as I finished whispering this under my breath and to myself. my youngest niece walked in the door, came right over to me, gave me a big hug and a smile, sat with me for a minute,and then walked back the door. once again something puts me in my place. but it's true. ah, but it's so true.
take whatever you want from that.
littlegirllost:
Send me a sign. A signal. Anything.
Give me an arrow. A psychic lightbulb. A decoder ring.
Say no, damnit! Just say something.
Give me an arrow. A psychic lightbulb. A decoder ring.
Say no, damnit! Just say something.
I am back. with nothing to say, no less.
alice:
i often feel like i have nothing to say, and yet i say something anyway....
sixsixty:
nothing is sooo open. so full of life. so ready to live. it has been waiting on the sidelines for soo long. it has been waiting to be filled. to live again. think about emptiness that way. true. in this world it is never really empty. never quiet. but think about the concept. in theory. it is ready to be loved, to be filled. ready to explode....
----
we are an explosion on paper.
every touch a word.
every kiss an exclamation!
-me
----
we are an explosion on paper.
every touch a word.
every kiss an exclamation!
-me
-I never know who's reading my journal unless they elave comments...scary
Dave
for the creepy ones, i reserve the wierdest possible thing i can say. when i was in portland at the sg anniversary party, this creepy guy started hitting on me, telling me i should go to some pizza place on sunday. i said, "i don't live in portland and i won't be here on sunday." he said, "no, you should come to this pizza place on sunday." he kept persisting, and i was drunk and backed into a corner, so i finally said, "i don't eat." he blinked. "you what??" i said again, "i don't eat." in the most serious tone i could muster. about 5 seconds later, he walked away.
anyway, i haven't heard the latest flaming lips.
by the way, i love what you wrote for "i lost my virginity...." that made me laugh a lot.