another Saturday morning. it looks very pretty outside, even through closed blinds 
my apologies to Skooter for keeping him from his baseball last night. instead of watching something he enjoys, he had to ferry me around to places for absolutely nothing, eat to the point of sickness, and then ... just watch me feel sick (bastard thermometer).
so thanks to my bestest friend Skooter for...
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my apologies to Skooter for keeping him from his baseball last night. instead of watching something he enjoys, he had to ferry me around to places for absolutely nothing, eat to the point of sickness, and then ... just watch me feel sick (bastard thermometer).
so thanks to my bestest friend Skooter for...
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i have this girl*space*friend who loves this idiot guy. and, though i want to tell her every single time she calls me to SNAP OUT OF IT, i don't. i give her the best advice i can, hope it gets through, and then do the actual thing that she calls me for - which is listen.
now ... someday, when she actually gets over...
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now ... someday, when she actually gets over...
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lorentz:
I love you Smugglebug
escottie:
wow. you hit a lot of the themes in my life, too.
i've spent the last year holding the hand of a friend who has mental health issues, and who is often self-sabotaging. through the whole time, i've had in the back of my head that for all the help i get her, she'll do it again. but i can't let on...my mantra to her is always positive and forward looking. but i know in my heart of hearts that she'll self-sabotage again.
it seems like you have a lot of things figured out already. or at least your realize that they'll resolve themselves if you just enjoy life, and be thankful for what you're given. that's where i'm at...after several years of sobriety and working hard to open my eyes to the world. i've had to work hard to break free from the immediacy of emotions, to maintain balance, to be just me when others are expecting something different.
insecurity is a difficult condition to address. it's easy to say "i think highly of myself and deserve to be treated well," but much more difficult to shrug it off when someone give you a slight. it took me a year of counseling (:blush to believe, truly believe without reservation, that i'm a valuable person no matter how i'm perceived or treated by others.
just in passing i'll note that i've only seen your face, but i certinaly don't see a bajillion extra pounds as a possibility.
your comment about reincarnation as a cat was very precient. i just took another pciture of the kids today and was going to post it in my jounral with just such a thought--that if i am to be reincarnated, coming back as a cat wouldn't be a bad thing.
i've spent the last year holding the hand of a friend who has mental health issues, and who is often self-sabotaging. through the whole time, i've had in the back of my head that for all the help i get her, she'll do it again. but i can't let on...my mantra to her is always positive and forward looking. but i know in my heart of hearts that she'll self-sabotage again.
it seems like you have a lot of things figured out already. or at least your realize that they'll resolve themselves if you just enjoy life, and be thankful for what you're given. that's where i'm at...after several years of sobriety and working hard to open my eyes to the world. i've had to work hard to break free from the immediacy of emotions, to maintain balance, to be just me when others are expecting something different.
insecurity is a difficult condition to address. it's easy to say "i think highly of myself and deserve to be treated well," but much more difficult to shrug it off when someone give you a slight. it took me a year of counseling (:blush
to believe, truly believe without reservation, that i'm a valuable person no matter how i'm perceived or treated by others.
just in passing i'll note that i've only seen your face, but i certinaly don't see a bajillion extra pounds as a possibility.
your comment about reincarnation as a cat was very precient. i just took another pciture of the kids today and was going to post it in my jounral with just such a thought--that if i am to be reincarnated, coming back as a cat wouldn't be a bad thing.
so ... the Gypsy said he would take my SG member picture. now all i have to do is lose 400 pounds and figure out what to wear. neat. course, he could be lying ...
in other news ... my best friend has this way fun tendency to accuse me of being weak or a whore or stupid or whatever based on mistakes i no...
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in other news ... my best friend has this way fun tendency to accuse me of being weak or a whore or stupid or whatever based on mistakes i no...
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lorentz:
I wonder if your best friend really held any ill thoughts towards you at all. I wonder if you even took the time or effort to address with your best friend whether these accusations, as you perceive them to be, are what they seem to be? I wonder, because I wonder why they'd be your best friend if that was the case? I've had few best friends in my life, because they're only known when they come to love you more than themselves, and it doesn't happen very often.
You see, Januar, when you find that person... there are no secrets. They'll know you at times better than you know yourself. They know all your quirks, your aches and pains, and they know how to make you smile. And they've accepted it all into their own lives in order to share all of that with you. Whether it's bad grammer or weekend laziness.
I've put myself out there for my best friend. In the face of absolutely knowing my feelings were not returned, I felt it worth while to let her know what she meant to me. I felt it worth while to stay, even when it hurt that she loved so many others less worthy. And there's not a thing I wouldn't have done for her, not a thing I haven't.
So what is this really about? Because I guarantee you the only reason your friend would ever want to leave, is if they had to see you sad. And since everyone has such a difficult time accepting happiness, especially an SG girl, I bet he has to leave often. If you'd like to believe your best friend would let you down just because most everyone else has, then that's your choice. But if he can't stand to stick around and watch you cry because of thoughts he never held and pain he never meant to give, then you've lost much more than a few tears.
I wish you happiness. I hope you find it. I al-ways have. I'm sorry I can't do this anymore.
You see, Januar, when you find that person... there are no secrets. They'll know you at times better than you know yourself. They know all your quirks, your aches and pains, and they know how to make you smile. And they've accepted it all into their own lives in order to share all of that with you. Whether it's bad grammer or weekend laziness.
I've put myself out there for my best friend. In the face of absolutely knowing my feelings were not returned, I felt it worth while to let her know what she meant to me. I felt it worth while to stay, even when it hurt that she loved so many others less worthy. And there's not a thing I wouldn't have done for her, not a thing I haven't.
So what is this really about? Because I guarantee you the only reason your friend would ever want to leave, is if they had to see you sad. And since everyone has such a difficult time accepting happiness, especially an SG girl, I bet he has to leave often. If you'd like to believe your best friend would let you down just because most everyone else has, then that's your choice. But if he can't stand to stick around and watch you cry because of thoughts he never held and pain he never meant to give, then you've lost much more than a few tears.
I wish you happiness. I hope you find it. I al-ways have. I'm sorry I can't do this anymore.
escottie:
the picture of you and mugs could make a person cry. 
um ... edited for my pleasure.