jamwise

Alright, getting this out of the way now.

I guess I should mention that this week marks the 1 year anniversary of my two best friends getting together. I should be happy that they're happy, I know, but I liked things how they were back before. Shit was much easier and more comfortable, and I know WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH about their goings-on. Mrrrrr.... But anyway, I dont wish to turn this into too much of a rant.

Thursday:
Me and the old-school crew went and saw a friend-of-a-friend's death metal band play a gig over the other side of the city. They were surprisingly kickass. Venue was cool too, cheap pints = <3. Evening was only marred by the fact that aforementioned best friend, and girlfriend of my best mate, drank way too much. Now, she happens to be the kind of girl that gets way, WAY happy when she's drunk, which would'nt be an issue if she didn't literally always latch onto me and not her fucking boyfriend every time. I've literally lost count of the number of times shes gotten trashed and come close to kissing me, quite often when he's in the very same room, and each time it gets a little harder for me to resist not going for it.

Friday:
Last night our crowd went drinking and Guitar Hero-ing at Em's joint. Happy drunk girl wasn't in attendance, but her boy was. He's not shitty at me or anything, though he may be at her slightly, but yeah, stuck around there untill midnight then made a break for it. I slipped into one of my random loner moods and didn't feel like being around people anymore.

So I walked. Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

I ended up walking around to drinky the drunk girl's old house and sat opposite it thinking for a couple of hours before heading homewards. I came to the realisation that I'm going to have to either have a very shitty awkward talk to her about her behaviour and what it's doing to me and to him, which would totally destroy our friendship in its current form, or just simply break off from her completely for a few months. I'm not particulary keen on either option. I love that girl like crazy, and I love how affectionate she is. But it's all just feeling more and more wrong, and more and more...kinda taunting I guess on my end.




For me to fall for her would be monumentally bad for all concerned, and she's driving me extremely fucking close to it.