jamila

\
November 7th, 1978 - August 16th 2009
You were my big brother in spirit, my friend and confidant. I love you more than I ever told you. I keep expecting my phone to ring at 2am with some ridiculous story from you. You were a light in my life and the hole left in my heart will never be filled. So many memories, so much life emanating from every pore in your skin. I wish I could have told you one last time how much I love you, how you shaped me, that you protected me. One last hug, one last chat - I would give anything for that. You were amazing and brilliant in every way and you have no idea how much you are missed. The tears won't stop and I cannot sleep. Trying to avoid the urge to numb myself. I welcome the pain, you were worth the pain. Visit me in my dreams. I'm listening to Elliott Smith in your honor. I know you can appreciate that. FUCK, I miss you.