Welcome back to, "ADVENTURES IN AMERICAN STUPIDITY!!!" Last time, we showed you how much fun Militant Vegans can be. Today? Christians.
There I was, minding my own business and just waiting for the goddamn train back towards Port Jeff at the Huntington station...when, apparently, I caught the eye of a christian group. More specifically, my Bad Religion shirt caught the eye of some christian nut who looked like Rick Moranis. "Hey! Buddy You have a problem with the cross of Christ?!" He yells at me from 20ft away, his face twisted with anger. "Excuse me?" I said, not really sure what I had done to incur the wrath of the Mighty Christians. He points at my BR shirt and yells at me again, stomping over towards me, "You have a problem with the cross of Christ?!" Then it dawned on me. The BR cross-buster symbol. I could have just let it slide and shrugged him off, but he was getting on my nerves. "One: DON'T call me buddy I hate that." I replied. "Two: way to live up to your close-minded zealot christian stereotype. Instead of asking me, Excuse me, what does that symbol on your shirt represent? like a NORMAL human being, you start in with me like I just hit on your wife in a bar and we're gonna knock heads about it. Rephrase your question or walk away." This gave him pause. Perhaps, he was not up against the ignorant heaten mind he'd first envisioned? "Well...I just wanted to tell you that Christ is good and he's a loving God." He finally said. "And now you have. Good for you." and I turned away and went back to waiting for my train. A minute or so later, he walks over again. "So, what DOES the symbol on your shirt represent?" I rolled my eyes, not really wanting to deal with him anymore...but he HAD asked in a nicer manner. "It's not an attack on Christ, it's against organized religion..." I explained. "...and the most recognized symbol of organized religion is the cross." He looked as if he were actually thinking about what I had said. "So you don't go to church? Do you read the Bible?" He asked. "I've skimmed it a few times, yeah." "Then you know that the Church is madated by God." He answered. Looking all smug as if he'd cornered me intellectually. "Look, I just don't feel I should live my life by Dogmatic decree or have a bunch of child-molesters tell me what to do with what little faith I have left." That was when it started. The You're going to Hell! rant. By this time, the rest of his Christian group had made their way over to us and had joined in the questioning of the heathen in the Bad Religion shirt...and I continued to calmly answer them. Until the Rick Moranis guy made a grab for my shirt. MY shirt. The Bad Religion shirt I got when I was 13 at the Roseland Ballroom and had seen BR for the 1st time and gotten the shit kicked out of me in the pit. THAT shirt. I grabbed Christian-boy's hand and said, "You've got kids with you, you REALLY want them to grow up with the story about how the filthy heathen beat daddy up on the train platform?" That seemed to strike a chord with him and he backed off and they all started walking away. "I'll pray for your soul." he said to me over his shoulder. "Save your breath, God-Nazi." I said. I just HAD to get the last word in. He looked like he wanted to say something back...but again, he had kids with him.
Same as with Vegans. If christianity works for you, great. Terrific. Go for yours and live a happy life with Christ...but don't try pawning that crap off on me. I walked down that road and found it wasn't to my liking. Try practicing what you preach.
There I was, minding my own business and just waiting for the goddamn train back towards Port Jeff at the Huntington station...when, apparently, I caught the eye of a christian group. More specifically, my Bad Religion shirt caught the eye of some christian nut who looked like Rick Moranis. "Hey! Buddy You have a problem with the cross of Christ?!" He yells at me from 20ft away, his face twisted with anger. "Excuse me?" I said, not really sure what I had done to incur the wrath of the Mighty Christians. He points at my BR shirt and yells at me again, stomping over towards me, "You have a problem with the cross of Christ?!" Then it dawned on me. The BR cross-buster symbol. I could have just let it slide and shrugged him off, but he was getting on my nerves. "One: DON'T call me buddy I hate that." I replied. "Two: way to live up to your close-minded zealot christian stereotype. Instead of asking me, Excuse me, what does that symbol on your shirt represent? like a NORMAL human being, you start in with me like I just hit on your wife in a bar and we're gonna knock heads about it. Rephrase your question or walk away." This gave him pause. Perhaps, he was not up against the ignorant heaten mind he'd first envisioned? "Well...I just wanted to tell you that Christ is good and he's a loving God." He finally said. "And now you have. Good for you." and I turned away and went back to waiting for my train. A minute or so later, he walks over again. "So, what DOES the symbol on your shirt represent?" I rolled my eyes, not really wanting to deal with him anymore...but he HAD asked in a nicer manner. "It's not an attack on Christ, it's against organized religion..." I explained. "...and the most recognized symbol of organized religion is the cross." He looked as if he were actually thinking about what I had said. "So you don't go to church? Do you read the Bible?" He asked. "I've skimmed it a few times, yeah." "Then you know that the Church is madated by God." He answered. Looking all smug as if he'd cornered me intellectually. "Look, I just don't feel I should live my life by Dogmatic decree or have a bunch of child-molesters tell me what to do with what little faith I have left." That was when it started. The You're going to Hell! rant. By this time, the rest of his Christian group had made their way over to us and had joined in the questioning of the heathen in the Bad Religion shirt...and I continued to calmly answer them. Until the Rick Moranis guy made a grab for my shirt. MY shirt. The Bad Religion shirt I got when I was 13 at the Roseland Ballroom and had seen BR for the 1st time and gotten the shit kicked out of me in the pit. THAT shirt. I grabbed Christian-boy's hand and said, "You've got kids with you, you REALLY want them to grow up with the story about how the filthy heathen beat daddy up on the train platform?" That seemed to strike a chord with him and he backed off and they all started walking away. "I'll pray for your soul." he said to me over his shoulder. "Save your breath, God-Nazi." I said. I just HAD to get the last word in. He looked like he wanted to say something back...but again, he had kids with him.
Same as with Vegans. If christianity works for you, great. Terrific. Go for yours and live a happy life with Christ...but don't try pawning that crap off on me. I walked down that road and found it wasn't to my liking. Try practicing what you preach.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Way to go. They never do expect the antichristians to be intelligent and we always expect them to be close minded and frightened.
Damn, I like whats get's ya hot.