I have just found out that my two oldest friends think I am a worthless piece of shit. I always knew one of them looked at me with real condescension because I did not get a degree or a good job. However to find out the other also thinks I'm worthless is a real kick in the nuts. It's one thing to hate yourself but...
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Thirty fucking eight. Holy shit. No girlfriend, back living with my parents, alcoholic and on/off depressed. 16 year old me would have laughed and called me a fat fucking useless cunt. He would not have been wrong.

I was feeling well, I got promoted at work and I sort of had my drinking under control. And then it hit me. I am not clever enough to do my job. I am ugly and unlovable. I have drunk 6 bottles of rum in the last 6 days. I am neither attractive or witty enough for any woman to look at me with anything...
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My best friend died a couple of years ago. He was 35 years old and had suffered from OCD and alcoholism for a very long time. I didn't give him OCD but I did introduce him to alcohol. As a lazy teen I started 6th form college and screwed my first year entirely so I decided to switch courses.

I started back again with no...
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I have tried really hard. I read profiles, I formulate funny and relevant introductions based on profiles and ladies interests. However I absolutely suck at Plenty of Fish. I assume it's because I have a face like a welder's bench but it may also be the fact that I really have no aptitude for small talk. Plus I'm a nerd which in non SG land...
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Given that I have spent the last four years in an alcoholic, suicidal depression; it is great that I am in a good place. Yes I'm still an alcoholic (a leopard can't change it's shorts) and yes I accept that no woman will ever love me. However I am good right now. Just being me. Without expectations or unrealistic goals. I suck, but I can...
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