james_

Dear love.

I need you with me through these long dark days, and now when I need you the most it's for the very reason that I can't have you.
I need you to ease my fears and smooth my dips and peaks. I love being with you and spending every waking hour in your company but things have made it clear that we can't go any further. you have invaded me to the point that I am losing myself, and becoming just a mirror of you. I have been changed by you and will never be the same again, it feels like. But I have to believe there is something after this. A new morning without fear and sadness. And that's why I can't see you for a while. And I can't ever let us get that close again. I know you will always be there for me but I need to stand on my own feet for the first time, and stop using a crutch to help me through life. I need to communicate with others again, and move outside this relationship box. I need to stop soothing my lonliness with you and find some people who are willing to share my life on an unexclusive basis. I have to leave you. I'm sorry, but this is just how it has to be for now, even though it's killing me.

I'm sorry, I will always love you.

James