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james_

United Kingdom

Member Since 2003

Followers 45 Following 26

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Monday Jan 17, 2005

Jan 16, 2005
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"The world has turned, and left me here"

I am at a strange point in my life, I feel. My friends seem intent on becoming adults, and donning their mantles of responsibility, but I just want to be 16 again. I feel like I fucked it all up the first time around, and want a second chance.
Also, I don't see why anyone would actually want to grow up. I don't want to go through life feeling like there's a ten ton weight of duty hanging from each of my testicles, I want to have some fucking FUN! Isn't that what life's all about? Just living in the moment and being at peace? The way people behave all comes from the mistaken belief that we are not animals. We are. I tried explaining this to many people and they were all totally insensced by the suggestion that they weren't something special. I tried to explain that it still meant they were special, just that animals, plants and rocks and everything else is just as special. But I digress.
Animals don't buy houses, they know that all the world has no owner. They don't bicker over religion or property. They live purely for now.
So, uh, yeah. The point. Well, the point is, why is everyone acting so serious now? Why are my friends turning into people with mortgages and shit like that? Give it a year or two and they'll all be getting married and shit.
I need to get out of this wierd vortex, I need to get away and find myself a life. That's the point I guess.

So

1 Get a new job
2 Move out of home
3 Find some more friends
4 Enjoy myself.

AKA the plan.

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kinto:
Look at me & maybe you'll feel better! I'm 32 and the last thing I want is to grow up... I felt that way when I was 22. Is it good or bad? It's not for me to say... and frankly I just don't care.

But yes, I've seen about 95% of the friends my age having kids & mortgages & blah blah blah. Their choice, if they're happy with that...

In French there's a saying: "vivre par procuration", which could be translated by "living through someone else". Most people are so insecure that looking at others & what's generally accepted as the social norm, they do the same because they don't have the balls to simply be themselves. Then, they have kids and stop living their life for themselves, like having a baby suddenly makes them worth something...

This emptiness of self is sad but that's just my point of view...

Just don't think you'll ever be happy by following a general consensus wink
Jan 17, 2005
crackheidi:
Like Kinto said, having a baby, buying a house, having a "proper" job, buying an expensive car.

Glad someone else get the thing about us being animals too. It's funny, I always seem to invert that over-used expression when I'm at the zoo. It keeps going through my head; we're so like them.
Jan 17, 2005

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