jake_lex

Days like this make me glad I actually work days and I miss daytime TV.

Here is what is before me now: Jerry Springer is on. The topic is "You can't tear me apart." This hillbilly woman came out talking about how her husband has left her for another woman. This made me wonder: this is too standard-issue for Springer. So I knew something had to be up.

And, soon enough, we saw it. The woman her husband left her for came out. She appeared to be about 3 feet tall, so I thought, OK, that's the thing, she's a midget.

Then I looked closer. She had no arms or legs. Or, rather, she did, but they were misshapen; there was nothing below her elbows on her arms, and nothing below her knees on her legs. It looked like what I've seen of babies born to mothers who took Thalidomide. Anyway, soon, she sort of shuffled over to the other woman, they start screaming, everything gets beeped, at one point the woman with legs pushes the woman without legs over, and once again we see why we are all doomed, and why people who say the Apocalypse is nigh are wrong: it's already happened, baby. Civilization's already collapsed.

Or maybe I just need to go back to work.