jakbstrd

entering the last gasp.

it's trying so hard to become Spring. the snow is melting, slowly but surely it is going away. everyday there is more yellow grass and grey asphalt visible. the lines have been erased and everyone travels in the grooves or just above them fearful of skipping like a well-worn LP. listening to John Coltrane on the phonograph...letting my mind coast.

going...
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it is a wonderful new life.

i continually dream about living a new life. one in which i could just live anonymously. but i am not destined for that. i have tried, but i can not remain anonymous. i can not escape the pull of people asking me to partake in the creation of their memories. i have tried to be someone different for so...
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you know the thrumming hook that runs throughout "seven nation army" by the white stripes?

i've had it going through my head for the last two days.

scotch just makes it louder.

tomorrow at dawn the last thirteen years of my life die. and in their stead a new dawn arises, a dawn of redemption, of hope, of renewed misery.

then again maybe not. depends...
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tomorrow is the last day OTJ for our regional manager. then our division manager takes over the regional job as well as the division job...my promotion might actually go through...YAY! Company Car!!!

All the good stuff for me as my father learns he may not be around this time next year.

Fucking life.

have been cleaning my apartment...during breaks i bust out "Dub Side of the Moon" and fly bombing missions in 1942... i've been doing loop-de-loops and aerial acrobatics around the bridges of britain.

break time is almost over...back to the mess...i don't think i could have anymore kitchen gadgets. the next place i move into could be a huge kitchen and i'd still fill it up...
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Uh, so...I'm here.

Yay!